In the form of a Pill..

In the form of a Pill..

A Poem by shallimarRose
"

drugged and raped...True story..

"


I close my eyes
the misty night air
tightens in my throat
I gasp
re-living you like a desperate lyric
reverberating over and over again
that night
a malignancy stained
into the fundamental existence
of trusting ignorance
a chartreuse soul
reading scarlet letters
and blaming myself
for your friendly portrayal
and lustful betrayal
in the form of a pill
slipped into the fragrance of saffron
when the roses were in bloom
and only you knew the intensity
of a broken heart lost and alone
in the crumbled foundation
of a troubled remnant
where the fabric of a young bride
had been ripped and torn to shreds
in the wake of a marriage
and the wake up call of a mistress
I was broken and helpless
and YOU
disguised as a friend
moved in for the kill
in the form of a pill
dazed and confused
intoxicated by a sip
of tasted betrayal
that left me lethargic
in the arms of a monster
when even then
you were not man enough
to go it alone
and the two of you
still echo in sounds
of muffled laughter
and unclear words
that follow me
forever trapped
in the dark corners
of a cerebral mask
where shame and self blame
lived for years
in the memory of four missing hours
that come like flashes of blinding light
and hidden memories
forever reappearing
disguised as a friend
that stole my will

in the form of a pill...

 

© 2010 bj smith
aka shallimarRose

 

see also :

Raped by a friend..A Night of betrayal, a lifetime..


© 2013 shallimarRose



Author's Note

shallimarRose
Bleeding ink.

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Featured Review

A monster is a monster even if they wear the mask of a friend. So sorry this is a piece of your history my sweet friend. These nightmares seem to cling to us forever, but somehow, perhaps through writing about it, I would hope you find a way to hide it in the dark shadows somewhere. The good thing is your wonderful poem can be a warning to other's who might now think twice before putting their trust where it maybe does not belong.

Posted 4 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Jack.. a few have already private messaged me and thanked me for the story and giving them.. read more



Reviews

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ron
It is horrible that there are people out there that would think about doing this let alone actually do it.
I'm so sorry that this happened to you Rose it was horrible and monstrous.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Ron.. Venting here is helping me a lot to cope right now so I appreciate all the love and .. read more
ron

4 Years Ago

Your welcome Rose. Like I said you have my ear anytime you need it.
Bleeding ink indeed...You took a disgrace and without candy-coating, managed to burn its acceptance in the minds of whom it may concern (on either end), and acceptance is that right road to healing. Since I mainly came to share my work behind healing, this is a gem in the eyes of which I see best.
...a rose that never stops blooming can never die!

Thank you for this, even for the [reached] ones that will come and read and cannot bring themselves to review.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Antonyo. I hope you caught the complete story linked at the bottom. I am beginning to fee.. read more
Antoñyo

4 Years Ago

I have seen it posted but saving for a later read. I tend to need to take tragedy towards awesome pe.. read more
shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

its a long read too but tells the whole sorted story. thanks again for your show of support Anton.. .. read more
I am so sorry you had to experience such a thing.....as a mother and a grandmother such things anger me....you write with such feeling and produce a great peice of work....hope you are healing mentaly, and the rest of your life is not centered around this tragic event.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Well Carol this happened forty years ago so it is a life long process I guess. Still trying to come .. read more
This is wonderful. I must confess, your words created lots of mental pictures and figurative devices. This one if good. Well written.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you again Kingsley for reading. shallimarRose
Onyia-ota, Kingsley Chukwuebuka

4 Years Ago

You are welcome.
Ohhh. You penned a tragic story exceptionally well. The division of lines are great, creating tension and suspense. Emotions are heartfelt and readers are left in a sea of grief. I can somehow relate to this piece because I have my own tragic stories. Your elaborate description of details and emotions relived my own past.

For me, I'd rather be dead than be raped.

Cleverly written. :x

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Blue for your very generous review and for stopping to read in the first place.
I am.. read more
These lines have impact to the reader in the the way you tell us the story in this verse...thanks for the invite and good to read this work...

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you for reading Glen.. I appreciate.. Rose
Glen Yumang Manese

4 Years Ago

you're welcome...I'm back with work and going in and out...getting all these RR's read today...lots .. read more
Chills run down my spine as I write this.
Firstly because your words help us to understand what happens and how this gutless crime is perpetrated. It could only be conducted by the lowest of the low life, in this case 2 of them from the same evil seed.
Secondly, your outstanding courage in deciding to pen this as well as your rape story and share them with the world.
Thirdly, you have managed to summon all of your exceptional writing skills here and put them to use to help actually feel your torment, here we momentarily get a small taste of what yourself and others victims of these crimes must endure for a lifetime.

We salute you ShallimarRose.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Keith, the pen is a mighty weapon sometimes and I am glad this seemed to touch so many. I .. read more
Very deep. Very real. I hate to know these feelings are so common.
betrayal, heartbreak, uncertainty. This a very painful, very beautifully written work.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you wildflower for taking the time to read and reflect here.. Rose
As far as language and description goes, this poem is excellent! I've got a clear image of what is going on, and it is quite unsettling. You do a great job of showing what happened instead of just saying "Here's what happened". A lot of people in this community have that problem, and I'm glad you give the reader a little creative license to fill in a few of the details.

Something that would make this even stronger is using some punctuation. It might have been your goal to make this one streaming thought. From the reader's point of view, a break like a comma or period lets the last thought sink in and lets me prepare for the next one. Using punctuation could also help highlight certain words or phrases that you think the reader ought to focus in on.

Overall, I think this is a great poem. I wish you didn't have to go through this, but I am glad that you have turned the experience into a piece of art. Thank you for sharing.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thank you Ryan.. I rarely use punctuation as a poet and I know this is a flaw in my skills.. I use m.. read more
It sure is interesting how a person had to use ruffies to take advantage of an intelligent person..

As per the poem style is outstanding that most persons would enjoy reading.

Most of the time we get to read stories like that in newspapers and we rarely get to read the other side of the story, it also sounds like the predator had a plan to tell his wife so it wouldn't affect his marriage. The part I dont like is them both getting away with what they had to use and them making fun of a more intelligent person than them.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

shallimarRose

4 Years Ago

Thanks for reading and your thoughts.. xo

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Added on September 19, 2013
Last Updated on September 19, 2013
Tags: hatred, rape, pain, discust, blame, shame, tears, shallimarRose, poetry

Author

shallimarRose
shallimarRose

F W, WA



About
I am a singer, writer, poet, dreamer, believer..... I am an unconventional poet who has been writing rhyme since the age of five. I enjoy all styles of poetry. I write by ear not syllable count .. more..

Writing
Broken Broken

A Poem by shallimarRose