Shiva's India

A dream of mine is now in words.

I was lost in a forest, hungry and thirsty, for help, I had to shout.
The jungle was filled with guilt, stress, fear and self-doubt.

I saw a clearing, among the tall green grass,
but it was frequented by snakes like cobras...

I avoided it, looking for an alternate way,
which was filled with mud and twigs, 
Walking through it was difficult, I have to say...

The day was getting darker, robbing my sight of light...
I was hungry, thirsty and tired, 
losing the will to fight...

I then saw a man; singing, dancing and smeared in ash.
This was no ordinary human being, I understood in a flash...

His eyes were red, he was smiling wide.
He asked, "What is the problem, my child?"

I didn't know that I had started crying in front of him. 
Told him about the forest I was trapped in,
He told me, "It’s just your mind that is crowded, you are now free"

He asked me to follow him and his voice, 
I obliged, had no choice...

We met a tiger on the way; it gave a deafening roar...
He jumped on it, ripped it apart, and its skin, with a smile, he wore...

He led me back the way I came.
He said, "Don't worry child, it's all the same."

Towards the clearing, where a king cobra stood.
It started to snarl, raised its hood.
He never cared about the threat
He took it with his left hand and wore it around his neck...

He turned to me and said, "If you ever wanted to escape this jungle, you would have had to take this path...
You would have faced that snake; you would be scared of its wrath…
But child, have no fear,
This snake, like me, you too can wear...

I thanked him with a cheer; 
He helped me brave my fear...
He asked me to leave, to return to reality...
Recite this incident as poetry... 

 

SHIVA

Author's Note

I named the poem after one of my favorite trance tracks. In fact, I wrote this poem while tripping on that song.

Youtube: Shiva's India- 1200 mics

Shiva is one of the most revered characters in Hindu Mythology. He has absolutely no desires; the purest ascetic. powerful, short tempered, but free from ego.
He is a popular character among the Psy Trance community around the world.

Hope you enjoyed the poem.

Reviews

[Anorien Isilme]

I think my favorite part of this was your ability to tell the story. Well done and nice ending!

[Ashwin Shanker]

I am happy that you found the story interesting. Could you kindly be more specific as to which parts you liked or loved in this and which parts need to be changed. Would really help my writing. Thanks :)

[andrew mitchell]

A unique tale said. I also like the Ganesh!

[Ashwin Shanker]

Ganesh also has an interesting story. Hindu mythology is quite interesting from a pure fiction point of view. Do read up as much as you can :)

[andrew mitchell]

indian mythology is great i have many bronze ganesh pieces at home some i bought around 1978. ive never seen the same piece twice on my quest. my biggest regret was not buying a three headed bronze elephant with jewels.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Sir, you would also like to check out clay idols of Shiva. The symbolism in a Shivas idol is much more than in a Ganeshas idol. Plus Shiva is Ganeshas dad... Sooo

[JayG]

You're forcing the line to the needs of the rhyme, to the point where the first line is unnatural, and reads like Yoda-speak. No one naturally says, "For help I had to shout."

There's a lot more to poetry than rhyming. At the moment you're not making prosody and structure work for you, and should because it makes all the difference. A really good overview is presented in the Amazon excerpt to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled.

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you for your review Jay G. The rhyme in this poem came naturally to me as I wrote this in one sitting and never edited it. It wasn't 'constructed' to be a poem in the first place. It's more of a story but as I started writing, narrated itself as a poem.

Thanks once more.

[Surabhi Kaushik]

Very nice. Keep up the good work

[Ashwin Shanker]

Thank you Surabhi Kaushik, for the encouraging words.

[The Girl on Fire]

Yes it was enjoyable indeed, specially for those who know about Lord Shiva and have great belief in him. It's right that he is powerful, short tempered, but free from ego, and the poem depicted it in the best way possible.
It was a great read! :)

[Ashwin Shanker]

I am very happy that you have enjoyed the poem Yashita. Shiva is such a marvelous character in our mythologies, an interesting personality, intriguing but yet very loving and accomodating.