Glistening Metal

a simple feeling of self mutilation...

 

Aching. Sorrow. Despair. Pain.

I grow woozy,

Because of the things I drink.

Because of the things I take,

I can’t think,

And all the same I go crazy.

I watch the blood fall,

Onto the floor, forming a pool.

Only a second does it take,

To deal with pain that’s so cruel,

And it subsides it all.

Simple solution for my small situation,

Long sleeves for my little ordeal.

They don’t understand nor do they try,

But they give me medicine for me to heal,

But I don’t it take due to my realization.

There’s no point to them so I watch the blood,

As I let out a sigh of satisfaction.

The shiny metal glistens,

And I start to lose my vision,

I then pass out landing with a thud.

When I finally get back down to earth,

And as I look in the mirror to see my state,

Tears roll down my face.

My face shows the blank slate,

Of no feeling and no worth.

No more drinking,

All I need is to just take a breather.

No more inhaling the nasty feelings,

And no more nasty things either,

I say to myself while I’m thinking.

But it continues on and on with this madness,

With the beginning of drinking,

And with the ending of metal, blood,

And sometimes me falling into blackness, forever sinking,

But always ends with sadness.

No escape, no matter how much I want to depart,

Even suicide isn’t a choice.

This hell is better than the one,

To come in my afterlife of no rejoice.

No end to the start.

Only anguish.  Burning.  Blackness.  Pain.