Prologue

There was a time, long ago, when the earth was full of strange and wonderful creatures, more than just what we know today.  They all lived together in perfect harmony, peace, and tranquility.  Their wise king lived high in the fog of the mountains.  From there he ruled over them in the most just and wise ways.  All of earth’s creatures loved their wise ruler, all of them except one.  Today they are known as the People of the Dark for they live in the dark, shadowy places of the earth.  They did not always live in this way, though.  Like all creatures, they were free to roam about.  They loved the sun, its warmth, and its life; but it wasn’t enough.  The People of the Dark started to think of themselves.  They started to think dark thoughts.  They wanted to rule over the earth.  One day they climbed high into the fog and killed earth’s wise king with his Great Sword.  But before they did so, the king banished them to the shadows.  Because there was no wise king to guide the creatures of the earth, the People of the Dark began a long rule of tyranny.  They covered the earth over with a dark cloud so that they could again roam about over the entire world.  Some of the creatures became afraid and hid themselves away, fearing The People of the Dark.  Those who didn’t hide away were deceived by The People of the Dark and became their followers.  Then The People of the Dark gathered the remaining creatures and sealed them up in the Realm of the Underground.  The earth began to die.  Hope faded and life as it was before was forgotten for many years.  All seemed to be lost for the earth and it’s creatures until the day that a bright star fell from the dark cloud.  The star blinded the People of the Dark and sent them back into the shadows.  From the star came two humans, the first father and mother.  They came to heal the earth.  They brought new creatures.  They brought the sunshine and goodness back to the earth.  Life began on earth once again with the humans and the new creatures they brought.  From the shadows, the People of the Dark made the humans forget the past earth, the creatures of old, and even themselves.  They only lived on in the myths and stories that the humans told.  And, most importantly, they hid the entrance to the Realm of the Underground for it would make the humans remember.  The old creatures of the earth now live on in the Realm of the Underground, waiting for the day to be freed so they can live as they were meant to so many years ago…

Reviews

[Brette Medb]

I like where this is going, it sounds like you have an interesting tale taking shape here. I too agree though that it would be easier to read in paragraphs and it might be more interesting if you make it sound like a myth. Don't use the People of the Dark so much, it makes it confusing when all of it sounds the same. I'll definitely be reading more.


Brette

[Andromeda]

interesting idea, but it would be more read-able if you perhaps split it into paragraphs or slowed down the pace a little bit.