Who shuts the door

Spiritual examination of the self ... by the self

May I sit
awhile?
I am fair tired from
journeying
through timeless stars

...tired of tears
tired of lies
tired of false desires not born of sun...
tired of darkness
tired of pride
tired of corruption of hearts
tired of your sickness
tired of your gluttony
tired of your greed
tired of your guilt
tired of your imbalance
tired of your injustice
tired of your uncaring
tired of your sad grey eyes
tired of your fears
and I wish to end it all
so who will lend me their knife ?
...to slit both sides
and let the earth
drink my blood...
as she thirsts for it
 and she is worthy of blood!
...or will you fight me still
your will to you yet a thrill,
not yet filled of the kill's bitter pill ?
 Who  has  not yet found the peace
put in your hearts ?

But if you are then
instead
dead,
yet seem somehow,
somewhat,
alive
then who will bid me enter in
to warm old bones by blazing  fire
of your broken ruin...
to breathe in the light,
if aught be left
in this foul place
that you call 'home' ?
 
Nay, but I am so weary
I would end it all ,
as many the fairest children
of them all,
turn back to your ways,
so filthy black inside
in very heart
I gave...

Who then comes here
to tell the tale
of those who say
this is my fault ?
... Who will judge an old man
crippled,
 almost dead in disbelief,
who lost his one dear son,
and other went astray ?
...Will any now accuse me sore
and rant and rave
and go to war?
...so
come
and
I will hear
thy poor complaints
against these
my comely
righteous saints
... I will hear right
hear now
all uncouth,
this be the place for Light
of Truth ..
Bring then no darkness in here,
keep it out!
I cannot longer bear with it about
Show mercy pleasing to me too
as it behoves us all to do
come bandy words
if needs you must
see who it is
in whom you trust
if I may bear you
in my niche
with arguments
the best of each
...and if your words
are not amiss
then I will grant your fondest wish
talk then with me,
if not undone,
see who has heart
to cast  first stone

...mercy just
unending bliss
my misery
is in thee bourne,
a kiss
....aim well and let your hatred fill
to the dark
storm
if be your will
and
end my life,
if you do judge
me with this blade  
...now make your move
else I will hear
fair song of love...

Who will come home
and who will stay
when I do take
all life away
in once-fair world
which now will  pay
...for it is naught
but is for thee
who made it thus
and so
it be

So will you ask
me here to seek,
right
in the fire
and let me speak awhile
of all
that now has been,
concurrent is,
and will be seen ?
Who is here now
who has not bowed
to light of word
amongst the crowd,
who judges cruelly
won't forgive?
Who'll bid me enter so all  live ?

Come I do ask,
you all are bid,
and none excluded,
nothing hid
I will have all  have their say
if choosing love
or saying nay
...or curse me
and I turn away

Have ye disgust
at my dark skin?
...or open doors let me within?
it's as you will
so will you say who asks me in,
who turns away?
Who then is so straight within,
will look much deeper
than my skin?
who clarified can come
unto the fire
as I do now
right close enquire
...beyond the chat
of pain and tears,
beyond the deaths
of many years
cast to the earth,
returned above
the water burns
fire quenches love
seas boil our troubles
clouds to seek,
who ventures up there
so
to peek?
Fire from the air
...who durst yet speak?

Wouldst thou then still
insult my call
come forth and sully
pureness,
all ?
I gave thee not
thy heart for this
yet come be brave
by the abyss
...but yet my patience
 stands atime
of any that can
muse,
with rhyme,
their stories here of few who love
and seek to be with me
above
...these stave off timely
evil breath
the tide of time,
the march of death,
gentle as doves
show then these few
who live their lives
in brighter hue...
then I would not yet end the trance
'til I have seen them
make their dance
so who will set this banquet scene
a stranger feast
there ne'er has been
but if you choose
not sing true song
I will away
full swift and strong
and promise that
end ne'er be long

...and after that
if still in doubt
not long again
till Lights be out

...Who be refined
 like gold from dross
tried in furnace
without  loss
who tarnished still,
who gleaming bright ?
Who yet is blinded by the Light ?
Who stands this heat
of holy pyre?
...The few now know
sit by this fire.
Who speaks here first?
Who be last?
Who lost their tongue?
Whose tongue be fast?
Who sit aside awhile and cries?
Who very young?
Who, loving, dies?
I will have answer from the heart
to know which ones are set apart?
Didst learn to smile?
...the answer's here,
and yet I see
but little cheer.

'Tis only meek who love,
and poor...

Who welcomes me?
... who shuts the door?

Reviews

[Dark Writer]

This... this poem goes beyond the words "deep" or "beautiful, yet dark" Very few writers, poets, have the endurance and word usage to write a poem this long, and yet you never fail to strike where it hurts, where it ignites your passion for writing, and all other manners of gushing dribble we writers, poets, love to fawn over.

In short, great job. I loved this stanza most of all:

"...Who be refined
like gold from dross
tried in furnace
without loss
who tarnished still,
who gleaming bright ?
Who yet is blinded by the Light ?
Who stands this heat
of holy pyre?
...The few now know
sit by this fire."

[TTBoy28]

I would love to hear this spoken! It is written as if it should be spoken by a member of King Arthur's court, or Vincent Price. I thought the comma should be deleted after the word "muse." Do you really feel that way? Great job!

[SHAMARTRE']

Now that is a Beautiful of what I call a PoetStory...a PERRRRRFECT JOB!

[NeverSurrender]

It's indeed a very long poem, but it still has emotion in it which I can feel. It doesn't really lose me while I read it and I applaud you for that. Great write, keep it going!

love,

N.S.