High Tension

High Tension

A Poem by Richard Williams
"

A love sonnet.

"


I love the way you rest your head on mine

and hold my hand so soft against your chest;

the warming of your touch, the time to find

the ways of love when words deserve a rest.

Upon your eyes I gaze as your intent

ignites the space between like ocean spray;

roses in your hand, memories that went

before us like the passing of the day--

that rush of urgent, mountain air that cried

in broken syllables, but then held sway

as night was ours and you were by my side,

as atmosphere was holiday well spent.

  Mt. Washington and city lights below,

  cathedral light and light of inner glow.


© 2010 Richard Williams



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Reviews

A tender and loving sonnet which well employs the formal beauty of the form. A lovely use of atmosphere and description.
Watch points? There is a double 'in' (beginning line6) which I feel could be improved and perhaps an awkward stress 'memories' which could be overcome by not sounding the 'O' and a relevant adjustment in the line. Not criticisms - just my immediate thoughts.
All round, a fine sonnet.
JohnL

Posted 7 Years Ago


I don't think 'Find' rhymes with 'mine' all that much. The middle lines were inconsistent and seemed forced at some point (Lol, I shouldn't say that. I suck at sonnets). Favorite lines :

"Upon your eyes I gaze as your intent

inflows into the deepest part of me"

A fair sonnet. Could be improvised if you put in effort :)

Keep writing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


beautiful sonnet! i love the flow of this poem and the imagery

Posted 7 Years Ago



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3 Reviews
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Added on July 15, 2010
Last Updated on October 14, 2010
Tags: chest, hand, touch, eyes, coffee, cake, night, atmosphere, lights, cathedral


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