Jupiter's Great Red Spot

The big storm on Jupiter.

Birthed

and bred at a time when

the solar system pained from

the continued sting of jagged rock,

you thundered the hydrogen-rich gases

of upper atmosphere, whirling amber, as 

old as solar wind, a maelstrom strutting on

an immense orb.  Mighty cyclone, are you the

essential eye, the pure iris of ruby and maroon?

You rouse that planet’s loft, prowling like hunger,

frantic as the ancient nebula you once witnessed.

You could encircle many earths, with force to

sand continents as smooth as a billiard ball.

Perhaps you are the blood of a planetary

god left there eons ago to mark that

great world, assigned as cosmic

identification, an insignia

that lingers through 

lifetimes.

Reviews

[Abdul Aziz]

The Great Red Spot has been celebrated as an object of immense curiosity ever since it was first observed. You've beautifully described man's innate wonder at such natural occurrences. Just the fact that you've got an idea to write on this topic warrants a 100 from me.

Just a doubt, though.. "You stir that's planet's loft". Is that slightly off the mark grammatically, or am I understanding it wrongly? :(

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Richard,

Interesting. Some nice stuff here. I'm perplexed, however, about "incessant sting of jagged rock". What is this about? Are you talking about the inner rocky planets which are so, so much in the minority. So I don't get "incessant". And while I am very sympathetic to "cinnabar eye"--the color is spot-on (no pun intended)--one has to be a bit careful in a write such as this as it is dealing with technical issues, and, of course, mercuric sulfide (cinnabar) has nothing to do with the planet. If this were any other write, I wouldn't even raise the issue, but this poem evokes a certain technical authority due to the topic, So caution is recommended.

Okay, now criticism is over, and in fact, these issues are minor and I raise them only because this is such a fine poem, and perhaps you'll see easy remedies for these issues. I'm giving this a high rating (97), I don't do that often.

"You could encircle many earths, with force to
sand continents as smooth as a billiard ball.
Perhaps you are the blood of a planetary
god left there eons ago to mark that
great world, assigned as cosmic
identification, an insignia
that lingers through
lifetimes."

All, very fine words. You feel the spirit of the planet, Sir.

Greatest respect. This was greatly enjoyed. It is rare to see a poem of this type so finely composed.

My very best regards,

Rick