lost

scared

never There.

never entirely Together.

and I still hold your hand when It’s warm.

look at that you're Leaking. Feels wet. Feels dry.

feels unput uncleansed feels remote.

Feels kind of like the word

            What

what

            love.

That slang that dirty purpose.

Feels like a gunshot a hairpull a hysterectomy

a triathlon a bottle of cheapo wine and a god

complex smile you’re on the air. howling.

A battered brain. that. can’t. seem. to. let go.

please just goddamn fucking love me