Merry Christmas

29th December 2016 My second poem.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

As I stood on a balcony on Christmas day,

I felt the cool air blown in from the city,

And it brought to my mind the futility,

Of human life and struggle.

Downstairs, laughter rocked the house,

Its racket a poignant reminder

Of my own inexplicable miserableness.

Of my privileged, fortunate sadness.

I stood there on that balcony to escape

From the barrage of questions and silences

From relatives whose smiles burn in my eyes,

Which are empty and unsmiling.

The cold and bitter breeze stirred my mind,

And I realised I’d never be

The handsome, confident man everyone wants.

So what’s the point in trying, right?

When one’s accursed by nature with bad looks,

Or a mind that makes him see his looks as bad,

Or when one’s accursed by nerves and timidness

That choke his words and laughter,

what’s the point?

And as I stood on that balcony on Christmas Day,

The philosopher within did his calculations.

And with a deep sigh at him being right,

I turned around and returned inside.

Because in life, your fears will face you

Whether you face them yourself or not;

And if you laugh in the face of perfection,

Of beauty

Of confidence

Of everyone’s expectations,

Then, and only then, are you free.