Learning System

This is the life we live.

Mr Ann can be da best man
But Mr Ann plus is the best and we must,
do it again with our learning system.
Setting the trend as we earn not spen.

Setting the trend, as we solve a problem,
without resorting to violence again.
Watch how the people, swing and sway dem,
as what we do, is going to change them.

I look out my window with rosy shades.
I look at the people with a shiny face.
Carelessly walking around in a place,
Everything's cris and we all showing face.

How can we all, be in a place?
Where nothing is wrong coz we all show face?
We know that we're making it how isn't.
But I don't want to be the first, to go changing.

Imagine if I went round rearranging.
The portrayal of my life, and be changing.
The vision of my life that I had been making.
The reactions, would be so painstaking.

I would see, sorrow in their eyes.
Their reactions, would make me want to cry.
I would be discarded for what I'm not.
So I'll ride my cool status for all it's got.

Everyday in my life, it's a mad thing.
I can't mess about, and I can't be acting.
I'm at a stage, where I've got to do something.
Jump the boat, or be left with nothing.

Before that, I had a learning system.
A way, to make my life, shine and glisten.
Nowadays I can do it in a new way.
A way, to make the day, my own, every day.

Author's Note

That's life isn't it? How are you liking the inward thinking?
There's no particular reason why words are in bold. Don't try reading all the bold words in order.

Reviews

[AloysiaVerben]

This poem has a very nice flow to it and is easy to read. A job well done!

[sarah]

go against man! :-)

[Zoe Jay]

This is very interestingly presented. I think this is the strongest of your poems at the moment. I like your use of colloquialisms in all your poetry.

This poem particularly shows an excellent use of rhythm and inflection. You have a great sense of style in your writing. This is very cleverly paced.

I am very interested to see how your writing develops as it matures. I think it lacks sophistication in places but has enormous potential.

The second half of the poem is stronger. I love the sentiment about leaving behind the ideas we are told we "should" be focusing on and setting our own priorities, and our own routes to achieving those aims, and not following the same worn pathways and systems that have been established by society. The last verse is particularly good. I like the veiled inflection that modern teaching, or possibly child rearing, is leaving us bereft of creative appreciation, and also, that it lacks the ability to identify and stimulate individualism, but rather, encourages us down the same old lack-lustre ways towards the same old lack-lustre goals, without thought or consideration for the future of the individual or the future development of society.

Verses 4 and 5 are particularly insightful.

[tynamite]

I've wrote rap songs before, but I unpublished them from the site. The first two verses were from a rap song I wrote.

[RonnieBreight]

I think this could be a rap song! I started reading it, and it immediately took flow. I don't know if you meant for it to sound like that or not, but I think it's amazing.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

This is really really amazing,
i can tell there was a lot of thought and emotion put into this one.
yes that is life, for sure- the system. its a scary thing.

[Marie Harrison]

Bravo! Loved it. Sounds like you learned the system too well! As we all did. I'd prefer to know genuine people. The shiny veneer is easily penetrated anyway. I love this inward search you are making. Beautiful!

[Poeticpiers]

Experience though a hard taskmaster proves in the long run to be the best teacher