What Happened?

What Happened?

A Poem by ExquisiteEyes

Do you remember those late night talks?
And all the promises that we made,
Some silly and some grave
What happened to them?

You promised to keep in touch
Yet as days pass, it grows worse
Once you had unveiled a world of happiness,
And now you are taking it all away.

Without you my world is dark
Don't you understand that?
Perhaps you have understood it a little too well
And chose to play with it.

May be I'm wrong or may be I'm right
Who knows until you say which one's right
Each day that passes without your touch
Are the ones that cause me tremendous pain.

Today, I wait for the answer
That would either bind my heart closer
Or set me free forever...

© 2015 ExquisiteEyes


Compartment 114
Compartment 114
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Author's Note

ExquisiteEyes
Please tell me what you think of it...I am open to all suggestions.

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Featured Review

Loved the sad song of lost love.
This reminded me of a classic Hindi song - "Kya hua tera vada.. Woh kasam woh irada..." (What happened to your promise? The pledge and the intention?)

Sometimes letting go and moving on takes a lot out of you. But it's part of life.
Very emotive! Loved the way you innocently posed questions and delivered the struggle and pain held within.
Kudos!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thanks...that song is indeed very touching
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Yeah. You are welcome.



Reviews

Very nicely done.
You've conveyed a sense of emotional turmoil between a feeling of rejection /abandonment, frustration (perhaps over being toyed with or not taken seriously), and perhaps exasperation over having to tolerate the turmoil to begin with because of a pledge someone is not keeping. These are some of the emotional elements that I pulled from your piece.
The flow is quite good. My only comment is to look at the word "it" in the second stanza - I seemed to want more specificity as to what you are referring to here... discouragement? anger? loneliness? Something else?
I like your work here. There is a tempered straightforwardness to your write.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thank you for the review. You have extracted all the emotions from the poem.
And in the secon.. read more
Yep. Some people just break promises like they are nothing. I cri

Posted 8 Years Ago


People are b******s, especially those you believe in the most....

Posted 8 Years Ago


nice described the core of a faded relation.... i appreciate ur poem .....
write more so dat i can find to read more thnkss

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Loved the sad song of lost love.
This reminded me of a classic Hindi song - "Kya hua tera vada.. Woh kasam woh irada..." (What happened to your promise? The pledge and the intention?)

Sometimes letting go and moving on takes a lot out of you. But it's part of life.
Very emotive! Loved the way you innocently posed questions and delivered the struggle and pain held within.
Kudos!

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thanks...that song is indeed very touching
Jyoti_Ablaze

8 Years Ago

Yeah. You are welcome.
I love the way you separated the stanzas. The poems meaning is also very deep. Keep up the good work! :D

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

thank you
SariahM

8 Years Ago

XD
there was an old Beach Boys song "girl don't tell me"

"girl don't tell me you'll write me again this time"

because she promised, and didn't keep it...and he hung on because of the promise...people need to be honest with each other...if you want out, let the other know...silence is not golden in this instance.

well expressed.

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

thank you. :)
Great writing! I think people can really relate to it in their own way.

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thanks :)
I can relate to the feelings of this poem cause i've been there.....Heartfelt thanks dear frnd....Good work.....

Posted 8 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

8 Years Ago

Thanks. I am glad you like it
Inject Positivity

8 Years Ago

Can't forget your poem...I Read it again my frnd....Thank you for your work...One of my favourite..... read more
I enjoyed your write :) I like the context and your thoughts. The only suggestion I have is the line "I maybe wrong or I maybe right" should be "I may be wrong or I may be right." Nice work my friend :)

Posted 8 Years Ago



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Added on November 28, 2015
Last Updated on November 29, 2015

Author

ExquisiteEyes
ExquisiteEyes

West Bengal, India



About
Hi! I am a 16 year old girl. I love to write and share it with others.Its just been about a year and a half that I have started writing. It was my friend who told me that I write well and should try t.. more..

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