Last Words

Last Words

A Poem by ExquisiteEyes
"

Some people leave sooner than anticipated....

"
Days pass away
Time is short
The disease rapidly consumes me
I won't live for long
And I wonder-
Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair?

All I have to say is-
I want you to move on
To go with the flow
Keep smiling, be happy
If not for others, at least for me
But a small part of my heart says
I want you to remember me.

© 2015 ExquisiteEyes


Author's Note

ExquisiteEyes
Someone I knew, passed away yesterday...so I wrote this on her behalf.

My Review

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Featured Review

I love how the poem kind of floats. It also connects to very deep pondering about the meaning of life for me. It is very emotional, just they way people like it! :D!

And I wonder-
Will you miss me?
Will my thoughts ever cross your mind?
Will you be happy?
Or will memories cause despair?

These questions also help the flow of the poem! You did a great job... Well done!

Constructive criticism: If you use a little repitition the poem would have a cleaner ring to it. I also suggest at least one more stansa!

Thanks for the great red,

---Sariah---

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the review. I will keep your words in mind. :)
SariahM

4 Years Ago

your welcome, and thanks.



Reviews

very sad and relatable. my best friend died of cancer just after xmas one year..its so difficult to watch someone you care about pass on isn't it but i'm sure your friend will be smiling and nodding at this lovely tribute to her. well done, must have been difficult for you to do so soon. full marks

Posted 4 Years Ago


this is so sad... I have never seen a poem written on the behalf of the person passed in this way. it is hard to imagine the blank space.. and the need to fill it.

Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you. I just felt like writing something from their point of view.
Beautiful words and sorry for your loss. We all want someone to think of us and remember us. With your words here, you have written her name in the annals of time. Well done. Peace be with you..

Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words...
Beautiful piece, it's really touching.
I hope, you can move on, with the good memories kept of her.
It's really hard to let go...

Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you :)
Beautiful. I think this really touches on those truths of death, that those that leave us are anxious to be remembered, but afraid to cause us pain.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for your kind words.
I get the entire feel of this. Very deep with meaning and very true, sadly.



Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you.
In memory, one can live forever so with this poem you have made your friend immortal. Ever shall she have her place among the electronic pages of the internet to live on in the memories of generations to come. Well done, a nice testament to your friend :~)

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you for the kind words...
My condolences for your loss. The best we can do is create beauty from our darkness. We all hope that we'll be missed, but it's a sign of maturity to hope that those we leave behind won't break because of it.
'If not for others, than at least for me
but a small part of my heart says
I want you to remember me'
Very beautiful.

Posted 4 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you.
This is a good read. Thinking about the impact of your presence and existence to others, wherein you wonder if you are worthy and remarkable to be remembered.

Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you :)
This is a beautiful poem. Short and too the point in a wonderful way. I apologize for your loss and wish the best for you and the departed.

Posted 4 Years Ago


ExquisiteEyes

4 Years Ago

Thank you.

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Added on December 3, 2015
Last Updated on December 3, 2015

Author

ExquisiteEyes
ExquisiteEyes

West Bengal, India



About
Hi! I am a 16 year old girl. I love to write and share it with others.Its just been about a year and a half that I have started writing. It was my friend who told me that I write well and should try t.. more..

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