I thought it was him.

It all happened one day..

Although it was for a meer second

I swore it was you.

In that second a million thoughts

ran through my mind.

My heart stopped and I couldn't

breathe. Then the second was gone.

And there I stood alone and broken.

Reviews

[--]

Oh Yes!!
I Know This Poetic Express Indeed!
Especially the holding the breath
for The Hope of that second
Love Love Love Always there
Always peeking in seconds here & there
then also......

"Then the second was gone.

And there I stood alone and broken."

Your Last Words A Just BEAUTIFUL!!"

Embrasse'
Vickie

[Patient Poet (Yos)]

Good poetry, i know the feeling so much Yossi

[Imperfection]

I can relate to this. I must say you've expressed it perfectly; this is exactly how it feels...

Well penned.

[Wolfwind Words]

Such a moment in time, when you think you see that perfect one, there. But it's all just a trick of the eye, and you get crushed realizing that the perfect momemt just went poof! You want, you dream. Then when you think it's all real. it's not.
Great poem!

[Pinky]

ouch... i understand that.... spend 3 yrs in an off again on again fling... good job!

[Rain]

No, that moment seldom is regained, by chance, or fate. But, you always have that instant of thrill of starting it all , again. I liked this. It was short, and said so much about lost love. Rain..

[Blackbirdsong]

Yes those seconds where time stands still and the world itself stills and then something happens and it all speeds up again you're just standing there wondering what's happened. You expressed that perfectly here.

[Nana Carmine]

Wow. This is so true. Things seem to happen in an instance and you stand feeling broken from them. Short but sweet. Thanks so much for sharing.

~Nana Carmine

[jen -- JG]

When that happen, time does stand still, a million thoughts race through you, a zillion emotions bombard your heart. A hope is born in a instant and reality destroys it in an instant.

A broken heart can be re-broken many times with moments such as these.

So real, so true, so pefecly written The change I could suggest let the body of the poem end at "breathe. Then the second was gone."


Then have your last line "And there I stood alone and broken"
stand alone - maybe in italics or centred but make it stand out in some way.

Doing it this way allows the hope of the "seeing him" sink in

then the bombshell when it isn't him at all tells the direct emotions of that instant.

A bit more dramatic.

Just a thought - I do like this poem on many levels and it stirs memories I thought I'd long forgotten.

That is what a good write does - paints a picture in words that makes the reader feel your emotions- and you paint this picture VERY well.


congratulations on this piece.

jen -JG

[Periac]

wonderful

[Christina2]

Beautiful. My heart clenched in the emotional embrace of the words spoken.