Jocelyn Elizabeth

Jocelyn Elizabeth

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http://www.fictionpress.com/u/466177/
Somewhere, PA
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About Me

I started posting my work at:
http://www.fictionpress.com/~rlauden




My name is Jocelyn Elizabeth and I am twenty one years young. I have an obsession with anything vintage. I love bright colors and crazy hair-dos from the sixties. I want an old Mercedes-Benz so bad it hurts. I work at an IT company, editing mailers. When I come home, my life revolves around my laptop. Everyday I write a little, hoping that I will someday make my mark on bookshelves everywhere.

I welcome constructive criticisms, but ask that if your sole purpose is to mock me, please refrain from leaving a review.

'.o.'



I love reviewing, but I'll have you know some of my biggest pet peeves:

1) Repetition and the Devil. "She went to the door. Filtering through the door a cold gust brushed past her. She knew what she'd find behind that door. Another door, and then another." My favorite saying has to be, "Repetition is the devil."

2) Numbers Out Loud. "I was 5 foot nine when I was 13. When I turned 18 I still hadn't grown an inch." I like to tell people to spell numbers under 100 at the least. If it's an address, a coordinate, or a phone number... leave it alone.

3) Over Indulgence. So they're short... "Her hair was shoulder length, blonde like honeysuckles on a warm summer day. Her eyes reflected the midday sky, blue like sapphires. She had a slim build, common among anyone who spent five days a week at the gym. She was eighteen, popular and untouchable. Her height was about five foot five, her weight one hundred pounds. She was drop dead gorgeous and everyone thought so. She was the envy of men and woman alike. They watched her when she walked down the street, tracing every curve and inch with lustful eyes." Blah, blah, blah. I get it she's pretty. What's she like on the inside? Do I really care that she's five foot five... no. I don't.

4) Their, there, they're. It's, its. Your, you're. Disaster. "Their was someone standing they're a moment ago, I could have sworn. There hair was black, they're skin as pale as the moon. I shivered, wondering if it had been more than a coincidence. Its all in my head. I tried to reassure myself." Honestly, practice makes perfect.

5) Present Tense Blunders. This is more a matter of preference than of literary critique. "I turn to the alley. My eyes search the darkness. Yes, it is him. I know it is him. He is here to take me away. He is here to make me his. I shudder visibly and hug myself against the cold realization."

6) First Person No-No's. "I recognized that face. I knew I couldn't resist him forever. I could feel his power over me. I could fight it as best I could. I knew in the end he would have me. I would be his for all eternity. I couldn't do anything but surrender." I, I, I, and then I some more. I enjoy writing in first person, don't get me wrong. Remember to vary your sentence structure, that is all.

7) Shockingly Annoying. "She walked silently to him. Her fingers tenderly grazed his cheek. His slightly pale face blushed in the dim moonlight." Stephanie Meyers does it. Therefore it is okay. NO! It is not OKAY! You cannot stick an adverb into every sentence and expect it to work out. Too many adverbs makes a peice read choppy.

8) Passive Voice, Claw My Eyes Out. "I was sitting, staring at the clock. It seemed as though the hands were ticking slower than usual. Time was suspended. I was waiting for him to come bursting through the door. The dangerous thought was crossing my mind. Maybe he would never come, maybe I would be trapped here forever. No, he would come for me." This is the most common mistake on WC. Be consious of this ALWAYS. A few slips are okay, a few slips are necessary. I sometimes find passive voice unavoidable. Be responsible. I was sitting ---> I sat. I was waiting --->I waited.

9)Just the thing. "That thing jumped out of the woods. It let out a tremendous growl and I just ran away. I felt it bearing down on me. Just when I thought it would pounce, the thing vanished." (I am exhausted... bear with my lack of creative examples.) You can cut "just" from a sentence and it sounds the same with better flow. "Thing" is a shortcut for lazy writers to avoid description. "It" is sometimes okay, but should be avoided at all costs.


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The stories get better as you read. That's what the follow up chapters are for. (In case anyone was wondering.)






I have a short attention span. I switch between my stories all the time, writing one chapter here and another there. If you wish to read more of any particular story, let me know and I will try to buckle down. I also take long breaks from WC to think and process ideas. They sometimes last anywhere from a week to three months.

Too many writers get hung up on the stereotypes of supernatural writing. Write about the characters that are the vampires and werewolves, not the vampires and werewolves that are the characters. Add personality, spunk, and a dash of uniqueness. Make the characters your own. I am tired of seeing Bella Swann (Twilight) and Selene (Underworld) with different names stamped on them. Write your own. Find your voice.





I propose blocking all writers who mention Twilight.


Comments

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Posted 10 Years Ago


*bows* Glad that my "witty" repertoire amuses someone.

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Posted 10 Years Ago


WHAT?! You switched majors?! *huggles* I'm positive you shall wow your English professors. (Though, right now I have several high pitched fangirls in my head going "OMG!" I think I need serious therapist help now.)

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Posted 10 Years Ago


We haven't spoke for a while. Everytime I see your status update on WC you seem angry or irritated and your profile makes you seem like you hate pretty much everything on this website. I don't get why you seem so annoyed, because when we use to talk you seemed funny and passionate. >.<

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Posted 10 Years Ago


Hey. Sorry I haven't gotten back to you, I haven't been around here lately (found a better writers site). I just wanted to say that I think now is the BEST time to publish a vampire novel, I know the market is being flooded with them but that means that's what publishers are looking to sell, so you may not get blockbuster status (damn that woman indeed), but you'll have an easier time publishing and once the vampire fad goes out of style, it'll be gone and no one will ever publish another vampire novel for a long time. Just something to think about.

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Posted 10 Years Ago


Hey thanks for the add. Check out some of my writing and tell me what you think. peace, love, and happy chinese children:)

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Posted 10 Years Ago


Hey Joceyln, glad to hear from you. How you been. Thanks. I am actually getting ready to post a new one now. I think I have a little more passion in this one than the other one.

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Posted 10 Years Ago


Yeah I can see the OCD. I am too. I just cannot spot it in my own work, wierd? You are good writer. I like your peeve list, so much I may print it and put it on my desk for quick reference.

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Posted 10 Years Ago


Good morning! Just wanted to let you know my book came out yesterday. You can read the blurb at Let me know what you think. Thanks!

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Posted 10 Years Ago


OMFG STARBUCKS! OMMMMMMFFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGGG! *IS HYPER* OMMMMMMFFFFFFGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!

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Posted 10 Years Ago


OMG! I'm sorry about your computer. I'd probably die if something happened to mine so don't worry about crying over it. Were you able to salvage anything?

I'm not really pursuing anything right now haha. I'm sort of just floating through school and watching the rest of my life drift by in the other direction. I have no idea what I want to do anymore, and I'm dreadfully and annoyingly confused about everything. Grr... But, if you'll be patient with me, I will try to get some of my new writing up on here. Maybe some of the old ;).

So how is school going for you?