Matthias Gregorius : Writing

Popcorn Bucket Boner

Popcorn Bucket Boner

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Prank revenge, a dish best served warm? It would go terribly wrong, just before it went perfect
My Runaway Foreign Exchange Student's SF Tenderloin Adventure

My Runaway Foreign Exchange Student's SF Tenderloi..

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


"He's my firstborn, please keep him safe." Those words haunted me once I learned where my runaway exchange student was, and there was little I could d..
Don't Steal From Your Coke Dealer With The DEA Watching

Don't Steal From Your Coke Dealer With The DEA Wat..

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Laughing at my burly, insane coke dealer's Belinda Carlisle synchro-mesh dance grooves was not an option. It turned out he wasn't paranoid, the DEA wa..
My Date With a Hammered Yakuza Dude

My Date With a Hammered Yakuza Dude

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Before sunrise, a foot of freshly fallen snow in Hokkaido, Japan, and a scheme to liberate day-old donuts. Maybe inviting a drunken Yakuza dude wasn't..
Pharma Adventurism Gone Wrong: Showdown With Outlaw Bikers

Pharma Adventurism Gone Wrong: Showdown With Outla..

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Ingesting the wrong molecule, in far too excessive amounts, put us on a collision course with angry outlaw bikers. Displeased with the Gorbachev-sized..
Faster Than a Speeding Bus: Say No to Stealing From Drug Dealers

Faster Than a Speeding Bus: Say No to Stealing Fro..

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Minutes earlier an angry, Ace Frehley looking character had been clutching the case as if contained gold bars. We couldn't believe he left it behind. ..
The Headless Hooligan: My Mother Confesses To My Murder

The Headless Hooligan: My Mother Confesses To My M..

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


My angry cop pursuers, a disappearing motorcycle, from our hiding spot we overheard the entire exchange. My panicked Mother confessing to decapitati..
Fun and Games Until Your Bishop Loses an Eye

Fun and Games Until Your Bishop Loses an Eye

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Who could have known our Bishop would be driving with his window down, on a 10F frigid night. Some bizarro bend in the fabric of the Universe all alig..
Tapeworm Removal Technician

Tapeworm Removal Technician

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


Davey fully believed I was about to remove a fierce, 16 foot tapeworm from the tailpipe of our Bro, Trevor. Armed only with tongs and a ham sandwich, ..
Escape Plan in Dueling Banjo Country

Escape Plan in Dueling Banjo Country

A Story by Matthias Gregorius


The cop was pissed in the extreme, not a fan of our "Fast & Furious" style escape. "You think yer better than me, huh, huh?" Was the oft repeated line..

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