Carrie Wellen

Robert Frost

Thirteen roads diverged in a wood.
I took the 3 least traveled by
My GPS has made all the difference.

Stephen Colbert
I wrote a poem about forgotten love
I can’t remember it but I think it’s pretty good.

A series of Unfortunate Events

My mother was eccentric, with the occasional exclamation of, “Uhhhh,” which here means, “I am tired,” or “Kooky oo bid oh wah,” which here means, “Go do your homework.”
Her mother was often a sparring partner on such appropriate childhood topics as spirituality, philosophy, political conspiracy theories and Nutella, which is now banned in the household. (Written by my daughter, Natasha)


Leo Tolstoy

I opened my eyes, hoping to see how the struggle of the nurses with  Mrs. Icannotnamerman ended, whether Mr John Q Publicissimo had taken his Lanoxin or not or not and whether the computerized medication machine had been captured or saved. But I saw nothing. There was now nothing but that pie the fragrant pie, with gray clouds flashing with 42nd street lights gliding slowly across it. "How quiet, peaceful, and solemn; not at all as when I worked," thought Nurse Wellen, “not as we worked, not at all as the nurses, security guards and environmental services workers and Mr Yu Hippa Violation, with frightened and angry faces, struggled for the control of the mop. How was it I did not smell that pie before?

“And how happy I am to have found it at last! Yes! All is vanity, all falsehood, except that mindfully eaten pie and twelve grain toast. There is nothing, nothing, but that pie. But even it does not exist, there is nothing but quiet and peace and the dirty hummus bowl in the sink!” 

Whose Line is it anyway “Irish Drinking Song”

I once lived in New Jersey
“You mother fleeping fleep."
That’s what I screamed upon the road to a priest who drove a truck.
They pay me to tell stories at the YMCA
It seems that only children understand me anyway.

John Lennon
(“Over Me”)

I’m over fifty I got crow foot eye flap
I got rat fur nose hair
I take digitalis
I say “3 and 3 and 3 is 3”
I can’t find my glasses ‘cause it’s so hard to see
But whatever
I live now
Older me.