The Review Club Forum Discussion for Mike's (Mykieto..

This is a place to respond to reviews and for further discussion on Mike's (Mykietown) story Historians - The Secret Era: The Prerequisite

William-

Thanks for the review of The Secret Era, chapter 1. It's interesting that you pointed out the opening paragraph in particular. It's actually a remnant of a previous draft I made written from the perspective of one of the students. Initially I just liked the description, but I can see your point about it drawing away from Professor Chambers' POV.

I getting the impression that you're seeing the storyline as kind of Orwellian. That part wasn't quite my intention. Yes, the Internet is regulated by the government, but people are still free for the most part. So it's not really unusual for Professor Chambers to speak his opinion on the matter (by the way, the social security number refers back to how college students are often recognized by their ssn on an administrative level on many universities). Even now, there's plenty of things that the government regulates, so I wanted to explore what would happen if that included the Internet.

I'm glad you had a lot of questions about this premise. I realize it is as you put it this opening chapter captures "a wide variety of fish." I guess I figured that the opening chapter can be used as a springboard to those other issues that will be addressed in later chapters. You're right; the story will unfold from multiple story arcs and characters. Hopefully I didn't bite off too much to tackle in one book...

As I recall you told us Prof. Chambers would not keep his tenure if he said the wrong thing. Apparently, this would be because of the attitude of the school leadership, not due to national political culture, as I suspected.

Sounds like this is less the traditional novel, where characters grow from beginning to middle to end, than a collection of short stories that belong together due to an event. For instance, a book about how WWII affected many different participants, with the event, the war, the only reason for all the characters' stories to appear under one cover.

In this case, your chapters, to be interesting fiction, will need short story arcs, as each chapter, I take it, will have to be complete self-contained stories. In this case, as long as each chapter is entertaining enough to keep the reader turning the pages, the book could be as short or long as you wish.

A first book should not be more than 100000 words, so you should brainstorm all the possibilities that you might be interested in discussing, write several (I see you've done that), figure out how many words these chapters might average, how many likely you could fit in a 100000 words. Then you will have to cut from your brainstorming list the ideas you least care about (save them for book two; never throw anything with potential out). As to the opening of such a book, my guess is that you won't have the information to write it in anything like a finished state until you have completed most of the chapters. Then the professor's lecture could be quite pointed, as you will know all the implications of the book once you know its middle and end.

Hmmm...I can see how that line about Professor Chambers' tenure misled you. I think I'll have to adjust that.

My original plan for this premise was to write a collection of short stories, so it's interesting that you pointed that out. After a while, I had difficulty extending the collection out, while developing some characters that I wanted to explore further.

I modified the structure so that it's kind of a hybrid of novel/short story. The actions from the characters of one story affect the characters of another story. So the plot has somewhat of a "butterfly effect," which appealed to me because I thought it kind of reflected the social technology that the Internet is today.

Kim and Julie-

Thanks for reviews on chapter 01. I think consensus is that the first paragraph is headed for the chopping block. It's interesting because I orginally had the story start with Professor Chambers' opening line, but I thought some context could be added in terms of setting. I guess I still have a lot to learn about editing. As I re-read a passage, I tend to add instead of subtract...that's a habit I gotta break.

Kim-it's a relief to hear your reaction to the premise. It should be scary.

As to your habit of adding: there is nothing wrong with that.

Stephen King's rule of thumb is to write fast and plan on cutting 10%.

I don't work that way, though KIng has inspired me to put down everything as it comes and then cut. I do this scene by scene in the first draft, trying to make sure I have covered all the points I want, making sure all the bones are in place. But then I tend to flesh out the bones over the weeks and months, keeping in mind always that nothing is set in stone until Finis is written at the bottom of the last page.

I use 3 X 5 cards, keep them and a pen in every room. If an idea occurs that will fit your project, write it down immediately. Then at your leisure, you can decide where in the book it should fit, and voila, you have flesh.

Quote:


"On Writing" is one my favorite books. I don't quite follow all of his suggestions either...If I recall he suggests to write about 1,000-2,000 words a day. But I can't keep that kind of quota with a full time job. I'm grateful if a paragraph forms in a day. Oh well, he also said not to show anyone an incomplete draft...guess that means I can't participate here either...

Loekie-

Thanks for the review. I did notice the slips of perspective too, especially the first paragraph, but the description of Amy was one I didn't pick up...thanks for pointing that one out. I would say however that grooming practices have changed significantly even from the time since I've been in college, and even back then it was trendy for girls to wear boxers to class.

In terms of plausibility, I agree that the likelihood of this actually happening to this degree is slim to none. And I definitely agree that the United Nations would hardly agree to such a law. That part I'm planning to adjust.

However, plausibility was not really wasn't quite the focus of the exercise. I'm not really trying to be a "fire and brimstone preacher" to say that the end (of the Internet) is near. Nor am I trying to expose some conspiracy theory that might be at work this very day.

I guess I wanted to hit a different note in the spectrum beween non-fiction and wild imagination. And while I appreciate your concern that people wouldn't read it because it isn't plausible, I'd wonder, if that's the case, why would anyone bother then to pick up any piece of sci-fi or fantasy? Why would anyone care for non-exsistent creatures or characters, wizards or robots, aliens or superheroes? Also, wouldn't a simple shift in human behavior be more plausible than the existence of superheroes or the like?

What is key to this story is a shift in thinking; what if people considered secrecy more precious than exposed truth? I'd argue that some already possess that value, but what if that was taken to an extreme? What would people do if a centralized resource like the Internet was taken away?

That's what I want to explore: people's reactions and behavior. It's not the aliens from War of the Worlds that I want to understand, it's the people listening to the radio broadcast that I want to observe, and tell the story about the guy who shot the water tower.

Your concerns about the dynamics between government and business are pointed. Both of those aspects will be explored in subsequent chapters. Hopefully, it'll be an interesting enough read.

AC/Chrissie-

Thanks both for the review. I think it's been unnaminous (sp?) that the first paragraph should be hacked to pieces (see previous reviews).

Chrissie-

Thanks in particular for pointing out the filler and the bloat. At this point, I think I'm still in the "throw in everything that comes to mind including the kitchen sink" mode. I'm hoping the next draft will be more aerodynamic. I see your point about the descriptions...I guess coming from more of a tv/movie/visual mindset I tend to put a lot of finite detail that is extraneous. I guess I really need to break free from the glass teat.

A.C.-

You're actually a lot more help than you realize. Yes, there will be counterpoints to the Professor's perspective, which will unfold in later chapters. I really like your idea about the bandwidth...I think after revisions, I'll probably incorporate somewhere into the premise.

Glad to be of service.