The Review Club Forum Discussion of Kim's True Light..

Originally posted by Kim Roach
Heya Rob,

Thanks for the review. You make a lot of good points. I know the chapater is an info dump. I wanted to get the information about the rules of how their abilities work right away, but I've always considered the chapter a problem child. I've rewritten it completely several times and I am still not happy with it. I think you made some good suggestions on what to cut to make it flow better. I completly agree with you that it slows down and lessons the tension.

I'm thinking that the part where Roxy talks about the history, I will put that where she sees Peter is in frozen time with her. While she wondering if he is going to freak out or not. That will explain why she is wondering that and give the back story.

I'm wondering about what to cut from Mr. F's conversation. I'm thinking that maybe have Peter explain while they are in frozen time, why he had her put in the class. That could cut the part with Mr. F explaining about the class. I do want to keep the part about Mr. F explaining about how he uses his ability. His connection with law inforcement is important to the story line and there really isn't another part I could add that into.

I'm wondering why you think it is important that Mr. F. is more powerful than Roxy and Peter? He has his stuff together that is the important thing. He is like the brotherly figure that helps the kids feel normal. He isn't an authority figure for them. More of a friend. I hope I show that as the story progresses.