Departing

Departing

A Poem by {A}shley {B}lack @-;-
"

Leaving on a train

"
Departing 

Peering out that window mirrored emotions stand
I don’t wish to leave you, placing my lonely hand
reflections of joy from my visit 
our new found love embraced
holding you for more than a second 
new feelings unlocked
Never to be replaced

I thought I could cope with the departure 
but as I begin to move
It hurts leaving part of me behind 
our laughter and comfort our love totally ensued 

I look upon your moving image
 before your out of view 
until next time  
when once again our love we can pursue 

© 2011 {A}shley {B}lack @-;-


Author's Note

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
I wrote this on the train after visiting my ex

please be honest as always

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Featured Review

Sad. That opening line was fantastic. "Peering out that window mirrored emotions stand" That sounds so beautiful, with that pang of the lonely looking out at the world. Right off the bat, the reader knows there's going to be something sad put before them.Also, the ending has that feeling that it's not the end, that the story will continue on after the poem ends, leaving the rest to the readers imagination. And the fact that the story hasn't ended leaves us with a note of hope, feeling that it isn't over, we can find happiness soon, even if now isn't going the way we want it to. You capture that sorrow and hope so beautifully, and that little note at the end, about you writing this on a train about an ex is just so poetic. Be comforted in the fact that I imagined some old time-y poet, Edgar Allen Poe or someone ssimilar, writing this. So already you've got that image, in my mind at least. Very lovely poem and thank youfor sharing this with me.


Posted 13 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

beautiful and sad a really great write

Posted 13 Years Ago


0 of 7 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem. It is very sad but you wrote it so well. The reader can really feel the emotions and see the scene that you describe. This is really great.

Posted 13 Years Ago


This was rather moving. I think poetry is probably one of the best ways to express one's views, to understand how they feel and think, when writing a full novel. When you compare a poem to a novel, I always seem to find that the author has expressed a lot more emotions and feelings in to their writings, than when they do with writing a novel or a script. It was very good and one to be enjoyed by many caught up in a similar situation. Well done on creating a lovely poem.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Awww....This--THis was so amazing! I've never left anyone, but people have left me for others, be it friends, family, or loves...Great write!!

Posted 13 Years Ago


I like this poem. I've never left someone or anything like that but people have left me so i know how it kind of feels :) keep writing

Posted 13 Years Ago


There is a very interesting rhyming scheme that I find here , though irregular ,
leaving the technicalities aside , this is such a nice write ... I fear breakups
like anything ... I know it hurts , lovely write .

Posted 13 Years Ago


Aww this is sad but cute, I knew there was a softy in the somewhere lol
I understand how you feel though... when you still love an ex it's hard to let go! hey that rhymes ha!
thumbs up on a sad but well written piece... good work as always!!

Posted 13 Years Ago



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17 Reviews
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Added on March 4, 2011
Last Updated on March 4, 2011

Author

{A}shley {B}lack @-;-
{A}shley {B}lack @-;-

Sheriffhales, Shropshire , United Kingdom



About
I Am Ashley Black (an alter ego ) I have a dark mind when it comes to my poetry as the strongest emotions come from negative RETURNING- I have been distant from this site for a while but I am fina.. more..

Writing