Fall

Someone desperate for help, hope is never lost.

I know I did something wrong,

I know I'm not as strong

As you want me to be,

I can't handle the hate, don't you see?!

Mummy, daddy, you have to understand!

I don't have the upper hand!

Life is too hard for me to enjoy,

You don't see what I destroy!

Help me, somebody, I've been calling,

Please don't stare, I've not been bawling!

I need help, anyone, look at my face,

Pleading, crying, begging, don't give me any space!

Why are you staring, running away?

I listen to you all, I hear your cries, and I obey!

Please, it's me now, I'm in need of some aid,

Someone to help me, so I don't go astray.

Nobody is listening, I'm losing all hope.

How can I see a light, when I can't cope?

I'm desperate for help, one last call,

Nobody helps, I'm on the floor.

I've take the fall. 

Author's Note

All comments are much appreciated, thankyou in advance for reading this!

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The description in the poem felt real. The desperate cry for help that cannot be heard. Are the dangerous ones.
"Nobody is listening, I'm losing all hope.
How can I see a light, when I can't cope?
I'm desperate for help, one last call,
Nobody helps, I'm on the floor."
I lost two brothers to suicide. They didn't complain and left the world with no notes and cries for help. The poem create thoughts and reaction. Goal of the writer. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[1Disawsum]

Thankyou! Yes, the unheard cries for help are definitely the most dangerous. But they are not heard because nobody wants to get involved, sadly. R.I.P. to your brothers, I hope they're happier than they were here. But what I really hope for, is that this world would be the world that your two brothers always wanted in the first place, so they can live here with happy thoughts. But I know from experience, that it's not always that easy, is it?

Thankyou for sharing your personal story with me on here, and thankyou for this review.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome. My brothers death made me listen and pay attention to family and friend. I did learn something.

[1Disawsum]

It's sad that the many valuable lessons we learn in life are only after something tragic has happened. Not only death, but maybe pain, or hurt, from yourself or someone close. It's very good that you did learn something though. It's a life lesson to be learnt by everyone.

[Dead]

"I've take the fall"... Beside that nice; a bit cliche, but overall reminiscent of a basic defined cultural value, albeit childish in scheme. I like that someone is using traditional blank verse for once, and applaud your use, regardless of how many hacks take to presentation in free verse, with unstructured formats. In the title you put " hope is never lost", and I will say that the overall meaning of this is not didactic or impetuous, but almost matter of factly, derived from context of importunate circumstance for all,; and this is weaker then what could be your own personal response to that effect. Good work overall besides, and it is grounded to it's theme. Attempt to master new styles, and old along your way. Make yourself proud.

[1Disawsum]

It might be cliche because too many people who haven't actually been through this type of hate use this as their theme to try and capture people's attention, but it's happened to me, and well... it's how I feel. the pressure to be someone you don't want to be, pressured on me my whole life, and it's only until then when I wrote this poem, I'll admit it failed on me drastically!, I actually realised what was going on with my life, what path I was steering myself to become.

Childish in scheme, again, I've never had the luckiness like you to live my life the way I wanted to, the happy childhood you had? I never got a chance to even spend a day in it. If you read my About Me thing (if it says- and no, I don't take offence to what you say! Sorry if this sounds extremely defensive, not meant to be. I'm just trying to get my reasoning out to you of why I did this... ok, this took too long!).

Anyway, if you read my About Me, I've been abused, I've been bullied, I've had broken bones and bruises and cuts and scars all over me, every single day for more years than I could remember. The good thing about the internet is, you can pretend to be someone you want to be. I'm trying to sound happy here, talking about my past like it's in the past and I have no fear that I'll fall and end up where I was only one year ago. But really, to be truthful, it hurts even reminiscing back to my past, it scares the sh*t out of me every time I think about it. So although this poem may not have triggered any emotions for you, (which was not my point- I only wrote this to try and get over everything. Failed again) it triggered every emotion in me.

And although you may not appreciate this poem like you do others, just know that, it's fine. You don't have to like it or love it.

Basically, this poem was me in public. Bruises, cuts up my arms, legs and stomach, dressed in rags and having to go buy things from the supermarket like I was normal. That was what i wrote about, you say this is a basically defined cultural value, and if I'm interpreting it the way you thought when you wrote it, society and its people's brains are still not evolved enough yet to look at others and care. Everyone's still judgmental, no matter what they say about loving differences and all the bs they say. They're all lying. I'm probably not reading this the way you want me to, but...?

haha just realised what you wrote "I've take the fall" I thought you made that mistake... sorry! I'll fix it if I care to edit this.

Definition of "hascks take to presentation in free verse, with unstructured formats" please???

I only wrote "hope is never lost" again, not to tell people or encourage them etc., but I only wrote it for my sake. Because believe it or not, I do read over my poems and what I write sometimes! Hoping that one day, I'll read this (again!) and think that maybe it did actually help in some strange way. Matter of factly, for my sake. Not yours, not anybody else's.

Thanks for the criticism.

Not defensive, have to say that again.

One last note: it's not for everyone. I created this poem for myself to be completely honest, to get it off my chest in any attempt to get rid of this memory. Fails when I read this again, but not your fault. I like to read over my own work anyway.

[Dead]

I am sure that you can't be understood, and that no one has ever existed like you in the history of the world " Hacks take to presentation in unstructured formats" means free verse typically means stream of consciousness with a rhyme added onto it to make it seem witty, with no formal style to follow. Sorry if you have never heard of socratic satire, and recognize that mocking the acclaimed public virtues everyone defies to become successful is a profitable enterprise. Also,we both have made errors in our conversation and in commentaries, I think because you and we don't care that much about our work, which is one of the reasons I attacked you. I don't care about your life and am not asking for your life story. I will not respond after this. Learn that no one cares what you think in your writing, but the skill in which you present it, and that writing is a business of entertainment; for the intelligent but mostly for the imbecile. If you write for yourself, and can not recognize that pain is a "basically defined cultural value", no offense, but you shouldn't write anything. Now, no sarcasm, and from a childish writer to another, realize you are a nobody, I'm a nobody; and that no one cares about what you've been through. Sorry one last time, but for everyone living in heaven there is one living in hell. Which one do you think most the writers on this god damned site are. Goodbye.

[1Disawsum]

wow... you're a harsh and judgmental person here! I AM a somebody, thankyou very f*cking much. Everyone is a somebody, somebody born into this world to make a difference, or simply to fill in the matters of time. Even you, are a somebody. Very surprising, trust me, I know.
You might not care about my life. So what?! I am only merely trying to communicate with you, a fellow human being who has no emotion when it comes to mere kindness and no understanding of mutual relationship beginnings.
Writing, for some people, is a form of entertainment, but for others, it is a coping mechanism. Learn that I do not care for entertaining you or other people, but I do it for myself. I stumbled upon this site a while ago, and thought, why not? Why not try to take a risk and see what happens. Mostly amazing things have happened.
You should learn that for many people around the world living unhappily and are not as fortunate or lucky as you, writing is not merely a "form of entertainment" but a useful source in making our lives easier. By clearing our memories by writing, and setting our life in black and white in writing. For you it may be entertainment, and that may be your only purpose, and that's fine. All I'm saying is that for others, writing has a deeper meaning to it. Learn to accept it.
Mostly for the stupid, imbecile people. You state it as a fact, when truth be told, it's only one person in this world of billions.
If you have a f*cking problem with others writing for themselves, then "no offence" but you should hurry up and stop living in this world. Being a judgmental b***h does not make you any more powerful than everyone else, in fact, it makes YOU the imbecile one, not only in writing, but in the world.
Pain is pain. Different for everyone.
If nobody cares what I've been through, at least answer me this question: why do I have foster parents looking after me? Why am I currently not living in the streets, lying cold and hungry and dead? Why am I in a house, with my own bed, clothes and even technology? Tell me, why am I in a much happier place than I was before?
A "childish writer". Basing me on ONE poem. Wow, thanks. I agree, you are childish, immature and stupid.
And no, saying "sorry" is not enough, and never will be enough. How many times have you heard the phrase "I'm sorry" by people? Let me tell you, too many times. Sorry will never cut it for all the offensive things you've told me. Nothing will ever be enough.