That Girl

This is meant to be spoken, not read. So feel free to yell it outloud.

No one every told me how to hold hands

or how to gently open your mouth in a kiss

just enough to breath in their lings.

I wish they would have told me how to trash a ring

that was a promise to me

and nothing to him,

maybe then I wouldn't still feel it on my finger,

that absent band circling my breaths.

It would have helped if they told me about that girl,

that backroom w***e,

that backdoor hoe,

laying on her back in the backseat of his car

doing the backstroke

breathing, breathing

backless, spineless

getting backlash from waiting for his superficial touch

to bring her back to life.

But I don't need somebody to tell me to never be that girl.

His something on the side,

his only good enough for a replacement,

I will never be the girl he wants to sleep with,

but never wants to be with.

And he tries to convince me that she means nothing

and I mean everything,

but come on baby,

in your eyes she looks just like me!

 

But this one is just for you.

Keep this secret near your mind cause you know

I'm always gonna be close by.

I was your first,

your only,

you can merely duplicate the prototype.

I'm always gonna keep half of you in the palm of my hand.

Just know that when you're squinting,

half-holding those girls in stubborn arms,

I'll have half of you wrapped up in my bedsheets,

half of you entangled in my shower,

half of your tongue pressed down my throat,

half of you seated passenger in my car

with half of your hand shaky and caring on my clutch.

 

Don't disown me like you don't know me,

opposite of when you couldn't take your eyes off me.

Because I still hold you,

still own your tears,

still keep your whispers.

I will always be the first girl,

the only girl,

your girl.

But I will never be that girl.