Mothers's Day

In my world every day is Mother's Day
My kids I nurture them and guide them on their way
I'm a mother before all else
My kids are a reflection of self
My motherly deeds are done on an every day basis
So just 1 day out of the year in dedication
The patience us mothers portray to have in order to celebrate our creation
All that waiting
Just to say "Happy Mother's Day"
When every day I'm a mother
Every day I'm providing
Every day we're thriving
Mothers are the Life Force
Nurturer of all things living
No 1 day is enough to celebrate the births we have given
~Quietstorm

Author's Note

In my world everyday is Mother's Day

Reviews

[Cassie]

Mothers day is everyday for every mother. Well written

[Quietstorm]

Indeed it is! Thanks for reading 😊

[Gee]

Worst day of my life when mum passed 3 years ago. In death she is even more appreciated and loved.
Enjoyed your words

[Quietstorm]

I understand, my mom died transitioned when I was 16, she used to always tell me and my siblings to give her flowers while she's alive. Thanks for reading 😊

[Soren]

Every day should be Mother's Day. Mothers do not receive enough recognition and are often not appreciated until it is too late. Such is the burden that a mother has to bear. Nicely written

[Quietstorm]

Thanks for your kind words and for stopping by 😊

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

I couldn't agree with this more... well done.

[Quietstorm]

Thanks for reading, it's much appreciated

[JayG]

I think you might want to look into the techniques that have been developed over the centuries for poetic presentation.

The thing to remember is that our own work ALWAYS works for us, because we have things the reader lacks: Context, memory, and intent. We always know what we mean, and how we want the reader to view the work. The reader has what the words suggest to them, based on their background, not your intent. And while the voice you hear as you read is your voice, the reader hears only the emotion that the words and punctuation suggest to them. That’s why we need to edit as a reader, knowing only what the reader knows, not as the writer.

One thing that helps is to have the computer, or someone who’s not seen it before, read it to you.

Look at a few lines as that reader must:

• In My World everyday is Mother's Day

You’ve capitalized the first three words. Why? Damned if I know. Remember, the reader just arrived, so this makes no sense. And minor point: "Every day" refers to all days. "Everyday" refers to things that aren't special.

• My seeds, I water them after I pray

So, Mothers Day in some way relates to seeds...and praying? And what has the Mothers Day holiday to do with that? It would appear that this line is placed here only to provide a rhyme for “day.”

• Those little Lives I created looks to me to guide them on their way

Aside from wanting to use “look” not “looks,” seeds aren’t “lives.” The plant that grows from the germ in them is alive, so we can say we created the seed only if we also grew the plant that produced them. But that’s unknowable, and irrelevant at this point.

And, does a plant “look to,” the one who put the seed into the ground? Only if that plant is Audrey 2, from, The Little Shop of Horrors.

In short, you need to do more than find words that rhyme, and SOUND meaningful from where you sit. They must be so from-the-reader’s-viewpoint. And they have to be meaningful as-they’re-read, because we get one, and only one first impression.

The problem is that there’s a LOT to writing poetry that’s not obvious. After all, they’ve been adding to, and refining the techniques for centuries. That’s bad in that you need to dig into them, but good in that you can learn to use those tricks as well as anyone else, and a LOT better then those who aren’t yet aware that they need them. And as Wilson Mizner put it: “If you steal from one author it’s plagiarism; if you steal from many it’s research.”

So research. Visit the Shmoop site, a great resource for all things scholastic. Log in as Student, and then, use the button to the left of the midpage search window to select Poetry.

There are lots of gems there, of all kinds, analyzed to show how and why they work so well.

Another resource, this one for rhyming poetry, is the excerpt from Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled, on Amazon. He will amaze you with things you use but never noticed.

And by all means, download and read Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook, via the link below. The lady is brilliant, and will open your eyes to all things poetic.
https://yes-pdf.com/book/1596

So…this was pretty far from what you were hoping to hear, I know. But since we’ll not address the problem we don’t see as being one, I thought you might want to know.

But whatever you do, don’t let this discourage you. Jump in. Learning about something you like doing is never a chore. So hang in there, and keep on writing.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/the-grumpy-old-writing-coach/

[Quietstorm]

Thanks for the review. Yes there are some typos that I didn't edit. As far as "my seeds" that's a reference, a metaphor for "my kids". Capitalization of those first 3 words were not intentional only a lack of editing on my behalf. Me referencing "praying" meaning praying for my seeds(my kids). Being that I don't celebrate holidays, Mother's Day for me is every day. At times I don't write from the reader's point of view, I get that. Thanks for your input, not discouraged at all.

[JayG]

• As far as "my seeds" that's a reference, a metaphor for "my kids".

Only in your mind. The reader can't read either your mind or your intent.

• Me referencing "praying" meaning praying for my seeds(my kids).

To you. No way can the reader know. For you, every line points to images, memories, and more, stored and waiting to be evoked, in your mind. So for you, it works.

For the reader? For them. every line points to images, memories, and more, stored and waiting to be evoked, in *YOUR* mind.

[Quietstorm]

Again I get that, this is a personal piece and not relatable to everyone. Just something I wanted to share. Thanks for your perspective