Populicide

Populicide

A Poem by w2de35657u687y4324rf

I fancy a furrow
From the treads of cosmic insects:
Eight-armed and arbitrary
With ambulant egg-sacks on their underbellies
As they leer with angular eyes over Neptune-
Exoskeletons gleaming in the reflected light
Of Jupiter's 63 moons. 
The parallax of populicide shan't stunt their wings
From beating against the noxious vapors of torn ozones. 

The furrow would be much too deep for patriarchal breath
As marsh-clouds inhale magma vapor 
From the malignant worm holes 
Of this shadow-cast city.

And where are you?
I'm picking water lilies from the ether
Like gaseous fireflies
To bottle up in little hopes
Of fire.
My blistering baby steps knock the renowned yellow brick roads
From a sky scraper's edge to topple down on the boulevards
Of doom-struck day.
My fingers graze the atmosphere
And the dimensions of oblivion ripple
Like the scar tissues of heaven
Or the ancient folds of God's gray brow. 

I fancy a furrow,
Plowed deep by fallen stars
Into the apocryphal hearts of monotheistic entities
And planetary altars
For all of man to suffocate within,
Smothered by fallout
In the roach-run womb
of mother earth. 

© 2011 w2de35657u687y4324rf


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Hm, a planet run by insects. At least, that's what I got from it. Perhaps the insects are even like stars, in vast quantity and plotted all over the universe, judging by the lines with Neptune and Jupiter. Maybe they are stars, and the insect motif is merely a description of them. Or, perhaps I'm thinking too literally xD Cosmic insects are obviously a strange topic for a poem, but I like this. In just a few stanzas you manage to open the reader to an ethereal world where such creatures exist, and include their ideals and feelings to an extent. Perhaps the planet that the speaker insect is on is a post-apocalyptic earth, due the the sky-scraper falling. Again, this may be too literal on my part. This is possibly even an idea for a story.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is universally epic! I feel all within my bugs mind....

Posted 8 Years Ago


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xx
Astoundingly evocative language you used here...I'm a huge fan of imagery, particularly tactile and visual imagery, so you had me at the very first stanza. I'm no poet, and I'm no more proficient at reading and analyzing poetry than I am at writing them, so it takes a great deal of skillful execution for a poetic piece to catch and retain my interest. Clearly, you have no shortage of the skill and talent necessary to produce such an execution. I have read many, many writers pluck long and largely obscure words from a dictionary merely to squeeze some admiration from readers, but the way you manipulated the diction and syntax of this piece was all-natural, neither pretentious nor awkward.

There is a never-ending depth to this poem that I'm actually afraid to attempt to access, but I do believe I'll be rereading this in order to try to analyze it to the best of my ability; this piece is simply too wonderful to read only once.

This is a truly spectacular poem you have written, chock full of imagery and heart-stopping manipulation of diction and just drowning in talent. I do hope you continue to write and produce more work of such quality! :)

-Mina

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I am impressed by the imagery and rhythm. The use of language is spot on and its pace pulls you along without burdening the syntax. While I'm not a big fan of the proposition of dystopian inevitabilities, flights of fancy through the shadowed realms require a stronger sense of aplomb to portray and keep in balance as the risk of rhetorical absurdity is greater. This piece maintains that balance. Nice job.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Nicely done. It's...verbose in a way that builds the structure and rhythm and flow SO nicely. It almost NEEDS to be spoken. Yes, your vocabulary is great as well. It's just sickeningly vivid, cerebral, and visceral. I'm trying not to cuss a bit here but phew. Loved it. Great job. I subscribed so I hope to hear more from you.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

impressive use of vocabulary. your descriptions are vivid and elaborate. you have created a stand out piece that stands alone. excellent work here poet.

Posted 8 Years Ago


Wow! This literally invites red heavens and tidal waves of suffocating emotion! Surreal and claustrophobic...brilliant work love...an instant fav! xx

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


I have to say I quite enjoy your celestial apocalypse, and you've tackled an interesting subject here. However, you do it with such artistic flare and cogency that your words saturate the air with your gnarled narrative and leave me sickly smiling to myself as it unfolds in my mind. Bravo.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is...well, I don't think I'm smart enough to give this the review it deserves. Quite amazing, the imagery the way the words connect. The ideas in and behind it are intense too

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


Can I say the word damn because you really know how to write? I probably said that already but it’s true. The imagery and the words and especially the theme used in this made my face go *o* and that all in a good way. I had a nice reading. Amazed

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


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OT
ahhh this is top notch poetry - I loved the little slice of dystopia - the twisted abstract and surreal concoctions!! this is most definitely my kind of poetry - the images - "From the treads of cosmic insects:
Eight-armed and arbitrary
With ambulant egg-sacks on their underbellies
As they leer with angular eyes over Neptune-
Exoskeletons gleaming in the reflected light
Of Jupiter's 63 moons." - the supernal meandering - cosmic insects - stars - constellations - the angular eyes (brilliant play there) of neptune - ah to look at the universe as if to the floor - you paint quite the twisted sideways tale here! nice job!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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900 Views
12 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 8, 2011
Last Updated on September 2, 2011
Tags: world, destroy, suicide
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w2de35657u687y4324rf
w2de35657u687y4324rf

Tucson, AZ



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