05 my routine was defensive

my routine was defensive

and I liked it that way.

I’d wear my clothes like armor.

Whose funeral are you dressed for?

Dr. So and so says you need

to wear brighter colors.

Dr. So and so says…

Dr. So and so says...

I hated bright colors.

Yellow just pissed me off

but daisies made my day.

I’d draw on a smile,

That’s not my daughter.

That’s what you do: cry to get your way,

You’re manipulative.

No daughter of mine would hurt herself.

while you stood outside my bedroom door,

your voice so uneasily stone.

You meant for me to hear.

I can’t pull my lips back any further.

Is my smile big enough now?