Chapter 1

Chapter 1

My eyes fluttered open, and for a minute, I forgot where I was. I rolled over, feeling the warm blood seeping through my shirt. How could I let them do this to me? I tried to stand up, but the pain was unbearable. My arms and legs gave way, and I collapsed back onto the earthy ground. I looked around for someone to help me, but I was alone.

            “Help!” I screamed.

Man, I never, ever thought that I would call for help from a human. Ever.

I lay there for a good while, but just as I was about to drift off into dreamland, I heard a loud noise. It sounded like trees falling on top of one another. Lumberjack, but what’s that loon doing up at like 3 in the freaking morning? I called for help again, hoping that through the ear-splitting sound, he would hear me. It wasn’t until after five minutes, that I heard someone’s feet approaching my direction.

            “Drew, come here!” I heard a man say.

I brought my eyes to his face, and saw that he wasn’t a man at all. He was just a teen! Around sixteen or seventeen was my guess. But what in the world he was doing up so early, I have no idea. The boy he called Drew appeared from behind a thicket, and stared at me in wonder.

            “So what, I got hurt. Now who’s gonna help me?” I asked sharply.

The boys looked at each other.

            “Um well, I’ll go get a bed ready, and um, Drew, you can help her get to the cabin,” the older one instructed.

Drew nodded, and started advancing towards me. When his brother was gone, he asked,

            “So what happened to you?”

I glared at him.

            “I’ll explain later.”

I could see that he wasn’t satisfied with his answer, but he was going to have to be. Drew touched my back, trying to push me upwards, but I screamed. He removed his hand, which was by now, dripping in my red blood. His eyes met mine.

            “Uh, mountain lion attack?” he asked.

I shook my head.

            “Something far worse.”

He grabbed my arm, and successfully pulled me up on my own two feet.

            “Thanks,” I muttered.

*  * *

After what seemed like an hour of walking, we finally reached a small, homey looking cabin. Drew opened up the wooden door, and I painfully stepped inside. A fire flickered in the fireplace, casting off a light that made the whole room glow. The older brother came out of the hall, and helped me into a chair. I looked around, and saw no signs of anybody else.

            “Um, where are you’re parents?”

I saw Drew hesitate, and I instantly knew.

            “Are you guys runaways?’ I asked.

They both nodded slowly, sitting down on the floor. Despite the fact that these guys might have been criminals, I felt a strong sense that I could trust them. I have never told anyone about being a Shifter, but for some reason, I felt like I could let it all out.

            “So,” I began, clearing my throat. “Have you guys ever heard of Shifters?”

 

Reviews

[Lucia]

Very good, but a small step down from the prologue. I wish this was a bit more detailed. Maybe talk about what the boys look like? So it can be a little more detailed. Also, I am teensy bit confused, has the person/thing changed back into a person instead of that cat? Or else how are the boys not freaking out. I also think you should explain a little bit more about why she feels she can trust them. Maybe wait just a tiny bit longer until she blurts right out and starts telling them who she is. Because so far it seems to be a pretty big secret and these are two strange boys in the woods.

Mind reviewing some of my writing??????

[The Perfectionist]

Okay, now I'm disappointed in you. I loved the prologue and I was very interested to see what this chapter had to hold, but just as you're getting into it, it's over. It's bland and dull compared to the emotion-packed prologue, and unless you give me a reason to actually care what a shifter is in chapter two, this is going downhill in a hurry.

[Katie]

A few grammar mistakes, but nothing major. This is really interesting so far. I like how you revealed what she was at the end of the chapter leaving everyone wondering what exactly a shifter is, and why people are hunting them.

[Jennika has a short att..]

Great story, can't wait to read more!

[ebur™]

Interesting story. I felt that it was very easy to understand, but very... fun to read, as if I was reading an actual book. I liked how you kept us in the mist, not knowing what she was until the end - that she was a shifter. Great job on that. Also, I felt like the main character was easy to relate to, you made her into a character I think people will understand alot. Great start to this story :)

[A. M. Green]

Thanks! I really appreciate it :)
AMGreen

[Global Norskie]

Again, well written! Liked how you chose to reveal her identity as shifter at the end of the chapter. Very suspenseful and easy to follow.

One thing that may make the chapter even better is to be more descriptive (e.g. what the guys look like).

Look forward to reading more chapters :)