Panic Attack

Even though I have reached the goal of motherhood and being married ..I still have severe panic attacks all the bloody time. For those who have it to, I understand you.. LIVE YOUR LIFE

Rapid beats to my chest

bolting drums of thunder throughout my ear

protecting myself in cotton and silk

swirling ..

twirling...

suffocating in sour, twisted milk

Hiding behind wooden doors

"WHEN SHALL FEAR BECOME NEVERMORE?!?"

creeks, voices and the hustled wind; hair standing

from neck to toe to clipped nail.

                                        Insanity                              out of control

  visions

                              salt watered tears

       roaring crows

                                haunting dreams

I cannot breathe!

I cannot stand!

I'm hearing voices!

The whispers of Poe!

Saying my name over and over and over again with immense pressure.

I'm going to go f*****g insane!

I clench onto my head, blood blasting from my eye lids

The room spins its two volts

my sheets swallow me whole

spitting me out

STOP!

STOP!

STOP!

It is only my sweat...

yeah...it's only me..

causing such a dream..

Exhale, Runaway..

(Inhale) Everything is okay  (exhale)

Everything is okay

Everything is okay

Everything is okay

Everything is okay

5 times of bright colored visions and words revolving in my head

Words who cuddle and kiss me with glee

letting my spirit free

I am a victim of fear

Since miserable youth

running around in violence "Call the cap!" "Call the cap!"

Not a victim forever but for a time

before my thoughts aren't mine

Live your life in glory

not in agony

Reviews

[Jay Steitler]

OMG, this is perfect! I suffered regular attacks from 87-2004. I had to make choices. Cotton? In the ears perhaps, to drown out the sudden acute hearing? been there. This poem is so spot on, I can almost feel myself hyperventilating. Excellent piece!