The Dark kings fey

My inspiration is the Wicked Lovely series I am in love with the dark faries!

They creep among the eventide, some stay waited, against the shelves of shadows,

Inflicting pain is their game, fear is their delight.

The hounds grow most weary in their cage,

And so they run along the streets at night

Awaiting their release, within a long fight,

And so the dark fey with their darker desires,

Come to dance, while the humans stay entranced,

To seduce the woman and man, above “gods” law they are.

To feast upon the humans flesh, is hidden in their ways,

To chase the weak along those hollow halls,

They feast upon the nightmares that live in dreams, and fill the mind with fright

Until that final call, when night grows bright, and daylight strikes,

And so there glamor must again be worn

For now the dark king is awake.

Author's Note

Let me know what you think. Picture borrowed from google.

Reviews

[Monster ^.^]

I really love the imagery and the way you showed darkness! Though I think some words should not have been used (and you should have used some). I have done some very simple changes... they sound better, but it's my opinion. I've capitalized the words I edited in case you wanted to know...

They creep among the eventide, some stay waitING IN the shelves of shadows,
Inflicting pain TO their game, fear is theIR delight.
The hounds grow weary in their cage,
WHILE they run along the streets at night.
Awaiting their release, a long fight,
And so the dark fey with their darker desires,
Come to dance, wHILE the humans stay entranced,
To seduce the woman and man, above “gods”, THEY ARE LAW.
To feast upon the humans flesh is hidden in theIR ways,
To chase the weak THROUGH long halls,
Until that final call, when night grows bright and daylight strikes,
And so theIR glamor must again be worn
For now, the dark king is awake.

Some are definitely just my opinion, but some are obvious mistakes like there instead of their. But all in all, that is good! I loved it! I wouldn't take time if it weren't! :)

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! I did edit it a bit. The line above “gods” law they are. As in they arnt strait or gay stuff like that dosent matter to them. It is like "above gods law they are", I just put the " " around god as there fey so they dont really have a god unless you count the the first two fey.

[Monster ^.^]

i see... okay then :)

[Mavs]

It's really wonderful how you use imagination to describe the dark king and basically darkness itself. I was captivated by this very much. Great job, 100/100

[AWickedMoon]

Well my imagination had some help from the Wicked lovely Series, I put that in the descriptions. But Some aspects are mine. Thank you for such a lovely review! :)

[Sami Khalil]

I like dark writes . Well done ...:)

[AWickedMoon]

Thankyou! :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome ...:)

[AWickedMoon]

A very nice, and beautifully crafted piece of work here...
I'm glad i was here.

- Elisa

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAutho..]

OK, I've just got to ask. Are you, by any chance, a Jim Butcher fan?

BTW, awesome poem! :)

[AWickedMoon]

Never heard of him but I will go look him up, and thank you! :P

[Ufi Auttorri ~ UfoAuthor]

There may be more than one but this is the Jim Bucther I was referring to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Butcher

The "Dresden" series of novels and in particular the later ones in the series seem to resonate with this piece of yours.

[AWickedMoon]

Oh I see I was going off the fey in Melissa Marrs work. I will deffinatly look some of his books up though! :)

[spiritwind]

Fiercely dark and draws the reader into wanting to read more. Love so many of these lines that copying my favs would be like copying the whole poem .
YOur first line sets the dark scene: "They creep among the eventide, some stay waited, against the shelves of shadows,"--love the shelves of shadows and the word eventide. Throughout this work you took care to select the right load bearing words. Admire writers who have a good vocabulary.
Gots to do it---I am thoroughly entranced with these lines:
"And so the dark fey with their darker desires,
Come to dance, while the humans stay entranced,
To seduce the woman and man, above “gods” law they are.
To feast upon the humans flesh, is hidden in their ways,
To chase the weak along those hollow halls,
They feast upon the nightmares that live in dreams, and fill the mind with fright"

Excellent write, excellent.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you your review just made my day! This is my second favorite poem that I have wrote. I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

[Rob Santana]

I love this! Well penned.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! :)

[Wingless Fallen Angel]

Second line, 'there' should be their, I believe. Not sure about the seventh line 'well'.Other than that, excellent write. Imagery is beautiful. Unfamiliar with the series, but I have been isolated from the book world for a while.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you!

[Norma M Sutton]

I have old eyes. I have trouble with the font you are using :). But the start is good.

[Rogue]

I too am unfamiliar with the series. I did however enjoy reading this and the overall mood it conveyed. A good job!

My only piece of advice would be to watch repetitive words. Night, law, variations of dark..
Try to find synonyms to enrich your pieces.

[AWickedMoon]

Thank you! I did fix a few! :)