Part of me

You adored her I know,

I know it all.

I told you to let her go,

But you headed for the inevitable fall.

 

I know how much you suffered

And how much you liked it.

Many a times you were stabbed.

Many a time you were healed.

By the same person again and again,

Enduring pain, dripping blood in vain.

I told you to let her go,

But you headed for the inevitable fall.

 

You were misled by her charming smile.

The smile that cheered you up for a while.

Like a Moth craving for light,

You craved for her smile.

And just like moth, you eventually died.

Though I had told you to let her go

But you headed for the inevitable fall

 

I’m glad you could see it in the end,

The smile that persisted on her face,

When you were lying on your death bed.

Sometimes I look in the mirror

To see your fragile figure in it.

But do I want you to be there?

No, I don’t!

Will I mourn for you?

No, I won’t!

Reviews

[Isabel25]

Wow....a poem that ends with determination. Sometimes people never learn, until they reach a breaking point. Looks like you have gone through a lot of pain and burns and have emerged strong and determined out of it all. I am glad that the weak part of you died somewhere in that journey of life. More weaknesses would come to haunt you as you progress further; never give in and never give up.

Small suggestion: add a 'the' before 'end' in the first line of last stanza, and your poem would be flawless!

[Abilash Uttama]

thank you so much for your time and thanks for the suggestion too :)

[Isabel25]

Anytime............:)

[prajakta]

great.,i could feel the emotion in it,a nice write..:)

[Abilash Uttama]

thank you :)

[AngelEyes15]

Wow great poem, I love how well it flowed and how you can feel the emotion in the writing .

[Abilash Uttama]

thank you so much :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

very nice. I would like 2 share something with u . you know I recently have adopted a habit of saying thank you to those who give or gave pain to me bcoz pain improves my writings . I write poetries only then when I am sad . I have made a diary also to which I have named my second heart . you have written very nicely

[Abilash Uttama]

i agree with you Harpreet, pain is indeed a wonderful experience it makes you strong and as a writer it actually feeds you. Thanks for the review :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

my pleasure. yesterday only I sign up for the writerscafe so today I was free and was reading all poetries . these r realy very nice . I think I m nothing before all these

[Abilash Uttama]

just keep on writing, you'll keep improving. you can yourself look at your old and recent work and can feel the difference.Keep writing, keep improving :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

actualy I usualy write in Punjabi and it was the first poetry written in English by me .

[Abilash Uttama]

well then i'll love to read your work, i too am a north Indian. thodi bahut punjabi meinu bhi aandhi ae par punjabi script palle ni peni mere english script bich hi likhi :)

[Harpreet kaur bajwara]

tuc ta bht wdiya Punjabi bol linde ho hun ta mai nxt poetry Punjabi vich hi likhni hai . I hope tuhanu samj aa javegi . I liked your punjabi

[Abilash Uttama]

haha thanks.

[nazia]

There is a part of us that never wants to let go.. A painful love story very well executed :)

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks nazia :)

[Ana B.]

oh my, what a sad little story, but with a fair ending :) Nice write :)

[Abilash Uttama]

Thank you Ma'am.

[Rasha Lama]

this is so true, i love the repetition (i love that about your style), amazing piece

[Abilash Uttama]

I'm glad you liked it :)

[Deepika]

Often we tend to act as per our feelings and ignore what mind says, as a result of which we pay heavy price and call it a bad experience. Our superego in most cases hints us about it.Very well written Abilash!

[Abilash Uttama]

thanks for the review Deepika :)