Blofeld's Egg: Pre-Virus Theft

A master-thief plans a fun heist of a very expensive Faberge egg from a chateau party in France before the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation creates world depression!

This is a pre-quarantine vignette about world life daydreams, inspired by the James Bond movie The World is Not Enough. Thanks (signing off),

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Leo was a wealthy prince who no one knew was a prince. He became a Lufthansa pilot to find some spice in his life and decided to purchase a very expensive Faberge gold-and-green egg which he discovered during his European travels before the Coronavirus quarantine began. Leo purchased the Faberge egg and then attended a celebrity party in Spain where he got very drunk and told someone he now owned the very expensive civilization item.

Unfortunately, one of the people Leo disclosed this dark secret to at this celebrity party while very drunk was an unscrupulous world-traveling master-thief named Ajay Satan. Ajay wanted to find a great heist in the new millennium to cap off his career, and he thought he'd found the right deed when Leo exposed his expensive Faberge egg possession secret. Ajay resolved to break into Leo's palace in France and lift the expensive Faberge egg and do something cool with it. Ajay'd decided to become Leo's new bane.

Leo did indeed throw a lavish party at his French chateau in the winter of 2019, and he wanted it to be a masquerade party. Ajay attended with a girlfriend whom he told to wear a burglar outfit so she could snoop around the chateau in search of the Faberge egg while everyone was busy partying it up.

Ajay's girlfriend found the expensive Faberge egg in Leo's chateau in France sitting in a glass box which was padlocked. She told Ajay and then Ajay began scheming of ways to lift the item from Leo's lavish chateau. Ajay resolved to make the Faberge egg his heist trophy.

Two special guests that night at Leo's chateau party in France were two Austrian aristocrats named Oberlin and Rice who were in Mad Hatter (DC Comics) and Alice gear and costumes. Oberlin and Rice were interested in possibly purchasing the Faberge egg from Leo and were busy drinking heavily with him while Ajay plotted to steal the egg. Oberlin and Rice intrigued Leo with their Mad Hatter worldly costumes at the party that night.

Ajay decided to pull out his special gold-colored deck of playing cards and sit in front of Leo, Oberlin, and Rice and place them in a special distracting game. Ajay told the hip trio that they should keep trying to guess what the dealer would pull from the gold deck of cards and depending on how many times they guessed correctly, they'd accrue more gold points for the psychic contest. While the trio became entranced by this activity while very drunk, Ajay crawled into the room where Leo's Faberge egg was sitting.

In the room where Leo's egg lay, a gorgeous blonde woman was sitting smoking cigarettes and playing cards. Ajay told this woman he'd give her a special rose hidden in his pocket if she'd just close her eyes and count to 1000. While she agreed to do so, Ajay floated to the padlocked glass box with the Faberge egg in it and used his hidden pocket-chisel to crack the glass and procure the egg and placed it in his trench-coat pocket. He then climbed out the room window to meet his girlfriend who was waiting outside in her car. By the time the gorgeous woman opened her eyes after finishing counting to 1000, Ajay and his girlfriend had sped off with Leo's Faberge egg.

Leo was infuriated and employed his disfigured henchman Two-Face to track down the sneaky thief who lifted his expensive Faberge egg from his chateau that night at the party. Two-Face was advised that the thief was most likely the same dastardly fool who told the gorgeous woman playing cards in the room where Leo's Faberge egg sat to count to 1000 before most likely making off with the egg itself like an evil crook. Two-Face went on a trail to find this trickster. Two-Face was a disfigured ghoul who always used a coin to see if the people he tracked deserved to live or die.

Ajay and his girlfriend meanwhile fled to Berlin to celebrate. Ajay's girlfriend dressed in a sexy Batman swimsuit before they made love in the hotel pool. Ajay promised her he'd take care of her and planned to take her to Australia. Ajay thought selling the Faberge egg in the black market was the best way to make money off the great heist.

When Ajay sold the Faberge egg to an underworld crimelord named Blofeld, there were new waves in the criminal world since everyone knew that a criminal mastermind now owned a very rare and civilization precious Faberge egg. Blofeld didn't care the egg was retrieved from a heist performed by a dastardly crook, so he simply kept the egg in his possession as a trophy testament to his criminal power.

As various criminals now plotted to steal the Faberge egg from Blofeld, Ajay and his girlfriend were enjoying retirement in Australia, sailing and fishing and making love! This new Faberge egg underworld heist intrigue was generating all kinds of society chatter, since the world was not yet under the terrible grip of the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation!

Ajay sent a special audio recording of his testimony of how he cleverly lifted the gold Faberge egg from Leo's chateau party, recorded onto a gold compact cassette which he purchased with some of the money he got after selling the expensive egg to the criminal mastermind Blofeld. Ajay sent this cassette audio recording to Scotland Yard, informing them that any underworld Faberge egg crime intrigue would now be their problem --- not his!

Ajay hooked up with an Australian boater named Matthew and decided to go looking for jellyfish and starfish for National Geographic. Ajay used his newfound career to make some colorful costumed blogs on the Internet about the value of eco-consciousness and recycling and clean water. He was no longer a thief but a world diplomat!

BLOFELD: This Faberge egg has augmented my criminal empire and has made me something of a celebrity! I hope the world is not headed for some kind of calamity such as a lifestyle punishing plague requiring complete global quarantine! This is, after all, the great era of great Yale (and diamonds). Haha.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)