Deadpool/Tanya: The Homicidal Artists

A Story by Abishai100

A wily ninja-vigilante pseudo-cop named Sparrow stalks the worst evil in Detroit, dealing with the dark 'art' of dementia!

Here's a very fun crime-fighting parable inspired by my sheer love of Deadpool (Marvel Comics) and the primal-valor ancient-world film Conan the Barbarian (1982), a general toast to American data!

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In the modern dark city of Detroit, crime was rampant, and it was about to get a lot worse! A new axe-gang called Cobra rose to power. It threatened everyday pedestrians as well as Detroit police. Cobra was mostly comprised of yuppies and working-class Detroit people who'd turned to Satanic worship. The city needed God.

God came in the form of a rogue vigilante-cop named Sparrow! Descended from pirates, Sparrow put on disguises and masks to puruse the stalking lurking minions of Cobra late at night. Sparrow was a nerdy engineering-oriented punisher who nevertheless exhibited unusual forms of courage!

SPARROW: I drive my trusty black law-car, which I've named Christine.

Sparrow's weapon-of-choice was a silencer-gun which was filled either with flesh-piercing silver bullets or a customized bullet that burst once it entered the flesh, creating more damage with single-shots. Sparrow used this silencer-gun liberally and considered it his Excalibur in his night-crusade against Cobra!

SPARROW: They never suspect I'm a normal cop or crazy, because my masks/disguises make me appear as a pirate.

Cobra mowed through cop forces and cop vehicles in main Detroit and the outlying residential suburban areas. However, Cobra was now stalked by Sparrow/Christine, the black punisher-car. Sparrow feared if no one stopped the evil Cobra, cops in Detroit would become swiss-cheese and oatmeal.

SPARROW: I've seen the crime-scenes created by this horrid Cobra axe-gang, and it's no folk-tale for Detroiters!

In his sparetime, Sparrow enjoyed various comic books and fantasy-adventure cinema. He liked how they captured a very primal human fascination with active courage and defiance of utter darkness. Sparrow considered his work one of great imagination, and his art collection reflected this sort of youthful spirit!

Meanwhile, minions of Cobra were distributing their own artworks, paintings and renditions of darkness and bloody murder. These sometimes graphic sometimes abstract arts represented a Cobra will to subvert all forms of urban sanity. Sparrow wrote to the Detroit Times, "Cobra art is synonymous with modern dungeons."

Ironically, Sparrow's gorgeous model-girlfriend Tanya was an artist herself and cast some of her beau's vigilance-themed art into her own paintings of Detroit virtue and justice. Sparrow decided to distribute these amateur but stunning artworks on the Internet, which caught the attention of the venomous Cobra.

Cobra was still holding its nightly secret lair meetings and gatherings featuring proud showcases of their axes and hatchets. Sparrow knew these evil yuppies were nothing less than a sign of civilization failures. If Sparrow was to disintegrate this gang of death, he'd need to understand and appreciate why Cobra's symbolic of American urban hellmouths!

SPARROW: I walked into a Cobra-invested Detroit bank and robbed blood-diamonds heading to Antwerp, posing as an ex-cop!

Sparrow was honored by the youngsters of Detroit in a series of 'Deadpool' comics featuring great storylines about masked vigilantes attacking the very fabric of urban dark murder. As Cobra's mystique diminished, Sparrow was hailed as a modern-day angel of the city, albeit a dark knight of hell.

Well, now that Cobra's gone, there's a new menace in Detroit. He wants to 'honor' the memory of Cobra by copycatting an iconic dark American horror-cinema avatar. This maniac prompted the masked Sparrow to once again hit the streets, this time as a 'detective-ninja' for alchemy!