My Prayer

Before I die......................

Hey God! 

I need to thank you for everything you gave me.

My beautiful family that includes-

Dad, Mom, Brother and his family, my cute little star

And bunch of lovely friends.

These years you provided me to explore this beautiful world.

You created with everything best for me.

You protected me every time.

Those trails you put me in were to bring out my best,

Your love and faith you blessed in me.

I'm sorry for every mistake I did.

 

 

Hey Dad!

You are my Hero

The best anyone can have in the world.

You are always with me in my good and bad times.

Thank you for molding me to be the person I’m today.

My character, morals and anything decent about me-

I owe it all to you.

Childhood imitations I do, i wish-

To be a good Dad like you later.

Forgive me, if I didn't live up to your expectations.

 

 

Hey Mom!

You are my first friend- The Best Friend.

Our relation was not Mom-Son.

We were the best buddies.

I never wanted any other friends ‘cause I had you.

I know you cried secretly-

Whenever you scolded me.

I realize you're the one I hurt the most.

But I never wanted to and ever.

I wish, on my last minute I rest on your lap.

 

 

Hey Brother!

I don't know what to tell you.

We have spoken about anything under this universe.

You're elder to me, still I call you dude.

I'm sorry if you feel I didn't give you respect.

But I have to tell you this.

You're the best brother.

Don't know how to thank you for helping me.

Still love you bro.

 

 

Hey Little Star!

We were total strangers.

We met here in WC.

Become friends, now my beloved sister.

Before I met you, I always wanted a sister.

Now I don’t want, ‘cause you glister.

We never saw each other, but sure I will miss you-

And same you’ll miss me too.

 

Hey My Future Wife!

I do not know who you are or where you are,

All the while in my life now

It is you who will be with me.

I will be forever with you,

I will love and care for you unconditionally.

 

Hey Friends!

I won’t say thanks or sorry.

You will understand me, I know.

The secrets I share let it stay in you.

Your secrets you shared, my secrets

Which I didn’t, will die with me.

 

Hey WritersCafe

Thanks

For the platform where,

I can write whatever I feel

To make friends worldwide,

To bring the best out of me.

 

 

Hey!

All others I missed above-Sorry

Thanks for all your help and support

Sorry for everything I did or said that hurt you.

Author's Note

Editing courtesy- Najam Us Saher

Reviews

[Zephyr]

Hey Abraham!
Hearing after a long time. Warm one indeed:)

[Lisa]

Amen. He hears all prayers, spoken or written.

[Davidgeo]

[JayG]

Sincere? Yes. Meaningful to the author? Sure. But...

Is this a really poem? There's no evocative language. There's little attempt to make use of prosody. No attempt to engage the reader who doesn't know the situation. And while it is sincere, is it anything that anyone one of us might write, or is it something we might not think of, making it something we might give to those we love?

My point? Poetry is more than something sincerely expressed, no matter how emotion it evokes in you, because only you are privy to your intent as to the meaning of the words and what lies behind them. How much, for example, can "The secrets I share let it stay in you," mean to someone without knowledge of the magnitude of those secrets, or why they must BE secret.

Basically, I'm suggesting that you look into the art of poetry, because it's a lot more than spilling our emotions onto the page. It's a form of communication, and for that to work we need more that intention, because the reader is privy only to what the words suggest to them, based on their background. And like any other field there are tricks of the trade and specialized knowledge that must be mastered.

Take a look at my favorite book on the basics of poetry, the excerpt, on Amazon, to Stephen Fry's, The Ode Less Traveled. It's aimed at users of structured poetry, but still, for what it has to say about how we use language, and what makes us react, it's a must read for all kinds of writers.

And though this is not what you were hoping to hear, remember, nothing I said refers to you, your talent, or anything but the craft of the poet, something that's not taught in our schooldays. But it is something anyone can learn. And you did ask.

So give it a go, and hang in there. It doesn't get easier, but with work and study, we can become confused on a higher level. And that counts because it changes the ratio of crap to gold for the better.

Jay Greenstein
https://jaygreenstein.wordpress.com/category/the-craft-of-writing/

[Abraham George]

thanks for spending your valuable time to educate me. I appreciate you. you are really the best reviewer here. I always eager to hear from you. I will try to learn more.

[Davidgeo]

You could edit this down. It'd be better, more impactful.

At least I think so anyway.

It's pretty good as it stands though. Still... it could be excellent if you trimmed it.

[Abraham George]

Yes i too think the same. I wrote it in sudden to make it post it here before my B'day.

read moreYes i too think the same. I wrote it in sudden to make it post it here before my B'day.

I will try to trim it later.

[Davidgeo]

It ain't your birthday today. Is it?

[Abraham George]

it is on tomorrow.

[Davidgeo]

My gift is probably not in the mail.

[Abraham George]

Your comments are valuable gifts.

[Davidgeo]

Ha... are you makin' fun of me? I would take no offense ya know. Don't feel that you have to be formal or polite with me. I love a good laugh, even at my own expense.

[Davidgeo]

just make it clever

[Abraham George]

don't think i am joking. I am not making fun of you.
I value comments that are critic than those saying my work is good.

[Davidgeo]

You're on the right track then. Keep it up. Eventually, I promise, it will pay off. Not so much from my bs comments but in the long run... you will find refinement if you stick to that heuristic.

[Abraham George]

I know i am not perfect . i always ask people to point out the mistakes. so i can at least make my work better.

[Davidgeo]

Don't fret. No one's perfect. Certainly not us. Just be you and that will easily be good enough. Errors and all.

[Abraham George]

Yeah true.

[Davidgeo]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29oD-AeDwrk

[wordman]

no prayers are wasted or overlooked by our God
it was sincere

[¿]

Sweet words which are more than sweeter to read here.....A man thanking for whatever he has is just better than a man always wanting things expensive and worldly.....this one's so good to read...Almighty's grace be upon them who are around you and making your life the best one and so on you!
Thanks for sharing this lovely prayer :)

[Abraham George]

Thanks for reading my work dear.

[¿]

wc at WC :).....

[Najam Us Saher]

This is very heart warming. You have included all those who are important in your life. God bless you. Every person you mentioned above is lucky to have you.

[Abraham George]

Including you? I mention you too .

[Najam Us Saher]

I am very well aware of it :)