Pilot

Test case, please give me an honest review of what you think so far. Are my characters realistic, should I write something a little differently? Please tell me. This is also an incomplete chapter 1.

“What’s with the Motley Zit Crew passing by?” A few boys pass, each with a face covered in zits. I’m just walking out the door and I already see people who I’d never love. I sigh- a quick, exhausted breath that shows my loneliness- and turn to close the door. Walking down the school halls, I only see less attractive guys- short, plump, and with hair one could rightfully call a rat’s nest. I decide that looking at the ground is best- especially since they’re all staring. After a couple of minutes, my friend Kathy runs up to me, excited about something.

“Hey Annabelle!” Yes, that’s my name. And yes, people mispronounce it “and a bell.” Don’t ask my why, I have no clue.

Like everyone else, Kathy is somewhat plump, but in every other aspect, she’s better. Her hair is meticulously combed and pulled into a ponytail, like usual. A bright green pendant rests between her collarbones, bringing the eyes to her protruding chest. Our school uniform, a white blouse tucked into a black skirt, with dark blue knee-high socks as we have to wear. She drops her bag, kneeling to open it. “I have got to show you something.” She rifles through her bag for a moment, muttering something under her breath. Suddenly, her eyes light up and she pulls something out, turning to show it to me. “Kathy,” I say. “I don’t really want to-” Then I see what she’s showing me; a small picture, about the size of a postcard. In this picture is a boy- tall, leaning against a tree. I take the picture. He looks HOT. Deep blue eyes, tanned skin-

“Annabelle. Earth to Annabelle!” I flinch, suddenly realizing that Kathy was calling my name. She waves her hand in my face. “You alright?” “Yeah,” I lie. “Who is this?”

”I don’t know, but isn’t he cute?” She sounded so excited about this boy now. As if she’d get him. I put on a normal face. “No, not really,” another lie, though that one’s obvious. She giggles, her face lit up with a light blush. “I’m totally asking him out later,” she starts off. “See ya!” Just like that, she was gone. I noticed that I was still holding the photo. I looked at it, blushed, then pulled it to my chest and started walking quickly to my next class.