Sand Became My Tears

Once,

I had lost myself to dreams,

To the tide that carried them to the shore and handed me an ocean,

I raised them to know no harms,

Until I lost time.

 

Before,

I had a heart,

That pounded within my chest a stream of conscious love,

I bled water that was innocent,

Until it became dry.

 

Now,

My tears are bereft of blue,

Because blue was the color of my salivation that I let myself believe in,

It was a flourish of my humility,

Until sand became my tears. 

Reviews

[Priya]

You love tantalizing your readers with such breathtaking imagery, don't you? :) I'm in love with your writing. You use such brilliant colours and imagery, usually touching on all five "senses" we have. Coming to this poem, I think it can't be bettered, no matter which way I look at it. And the title is simply amazing! Beautifully written, though sad.

[asdarkeyesclose]

'I bled water that was innocent,
Until it became dry.'

some lovely images to this, great structure and i liked the romance in the language. fantastic.

[Monica]

Beautiful. I love it! Your poem is moving and very well written :)

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

I think you are an angel who can become very very sad and very very blissful, and you know, it teaches us to feel.

1. It was a flourish of my humility

OH! and the line of the month goes to:

2. That pounded within my chest a stream of conscious love

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

beyond beautiful, this one gave me absolute chills! Bravo my southern neighbor!

[Honey54]

this is so beautful and visual and darn right intuned! I could smell and feel the ocean and the crisp sand! (Florida Girl) ♥ the ocean and I just DARN RIGHT LOVE THE WHOLE THING! AMAZING WORK!

[s.r.knight]

I really liked the beginning of each stanza "once, before, now", very simple and very effective! I love the imagery of tears drying up and becoming sand. Good work.

[WiLL i e]

I agree with Katarina about the "once, before and now". Well done top to bottom

[Who Cares]

Simply beautiful I lack better words. I liked the once, before, adn now structure. Nice rhyme scheme and it flows well. Such a beautiful way to desrcibe hearbreak.. Wonderful work :D

[reflectingus]

Every part of this poem is simply beautiful. I love the 'once' 'before' and 'now' at the beginning of each stanza, and there's just this amicable rhythm and flow that sort of takes you away. I got lost in the words, I had to rack my brain a little to understand the last stanza, however, I just think that's my weakness with reading poetry and reaching a good analysis. I would love to come back and give it another try, so I'm shelving it :) Beautiful job.