Romantic Lullaby

A lullaby about a romantic evening on the beach.

Romantic Lullaby

 

Waltz with me

under lunar light

where the sea

whispers songs all night.

 

Let us flee

to a stellar height

where we see

meteors ignite.

 

Let low key

love songs expedite

fantasy

as we hold hands tight.

 

Let us be

as the stars in flight

floating free

till the sky grows bright.

Reviews

[SyberRose]

Nicely penned and enjoyed the rhyme scheme and the theme...Rose:)

[Aethereal]

Thanks, SyberRose! My rhymes sing like songs. I hear the music in my head and then I write the poem.

[Bimash Budha]

Pretty Good Lullaby!! Nice Rhyme!!!

[Aethereal]

Thanks, Bimash!

[Bimash Budha]

You're always welcome!!! :)

[Hannah]

This is beautiful... Your rhyme scheme and your choice of words make this lullaby flow so easily that the reader could almost fall into a trance... I love a daring rhyme scheme and you make it look so effortless... Though it's such a simple moment of bliss, you've created such a well-written poem that you've made it a moment the reader craves for long after they're finished reading... Well done :)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Hannah! Most of my rhyme schemes are daring. I dare anyone to do the same.

[Augustus]

This has a gentle melodic feel to it. The rhyme accentuates the waltz being performed: it is a periodic cycle of two. It is a somewhat dangerous rhyme scheme to attempt, because maintaining the pattern sometimes requires the use of forced rhymes, which drag the poem down. But here, you have done a very good job. I like the poem for the simplicity of its romance. It is more close to home and therefore easier to relate to. Very effective writing! Well done!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Augustus! I never force a rhyme, and all of my rhyme schemes are dangerous ones. Just wait till you read "Coffee" or “First Love“! Also, I only use each rhyme word once in a given poem, and all rhymes are exact without different endings. My poems are more or less like equations.

[Tom]

The choice of rhyme is so eloquent, this is indeed a sweet serenade of the heart melting variety!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Tom! I wonder if it's possible for a mating pair to find love during a cricket game, a cricket serenade?

[Tom]

Now you've got me thinking Athereal, you old devil you !!

[Sami Khalil]

I'm waltzing reading this marvelous poem. I like it alot...:)

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review, Sami!

[Sami Khalil]

You are welcome...:)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

So romantic, A. Nice imagery here. I can see myself in bare feet, holding hands with my love, while dancing under the moonlight...at the sea shore.

I like the use of anaphora, alliteration and assonance in some words.
Great job here, A!

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Dhaye! Sound is important in all of my poems.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Great! Each poet has his own preferences and styles...There are too many literary devices to use and you have these ones from the best choices.

[Angi]

Lets not be in a rush, lets dance all night... I love the swaying beat of this piece. Nicely done, Aethereal. Angi~

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your detailed review, Angi! I had to make it a sing with a beat if it was to be a lullaby.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i like, especially, the idea of the low key love songs. love that burns too hot, too bright, too fast is ephemeral...burns itself out quickly as it turns on its heat...but a steady love, a steady soft glow...that lasts.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your insightful review, jacob! Here we have a slow burn as nocturnal moments turn under the light of the moon and stars.

[Frieda P]

This is one lullaby that won't put you to sleep, waltzing under the stars by the sea, what could be lovelier?Play that tune all night long.....well done.

[Aethereal]

Thanks for your review of my lullaby, Frieda! But it would be like a dream in itself.