Obvious Yet Overlooked-By: Akeen V.

Unstoppable tomorrow arrives as today leaves.

Glorious sunshine rises as grayish light disperses.

Stars quietly flicker out, similar to candles caught in a breeze.

 

Seconds pass casually without recognition like a passing fly.

Time’s notion quickly falls irrelevant as soon as it begins.

 

Sins turns into normalness once they have been committed,

Intuiting many regret filled tears when sinners cry.

 

While in today’s devalued principles and greed filled eyes

Nothing amounts to nothing, which is implausible,

Everything is something despite its lack of importance.

 

Nothing can ever equal nothing, for nothing does not exist.

Yet our egotistical human race persists to dismiss

That all living or nonliving things are reliable

And solely accountable for the survival of our comforted

Society, where meaningful actions, transformations

Alongside earth's continuation is easily dispersed and thwarted.

 

Therefore ambitious materialism, grows ever more distorted,

Ensuring money will always be upheld to godly proportions.

Creating a massive absence for noticing earth and life’s

Most beautiful nothings that strive to halt grief’s

Worrisome hands from interacting with the devils keys

Which could unlock dooms catastrophic doors, with simple ease.

Reviews

[J.]

I really like this. Very well expressed, with great protest. Sadly true, we as human and The People of our various countries, are stuck amidst the muck and slime our leaders throw at us. And yet, we still seem to forget what is actually really important-taking things for granted, all that is in it's simplest form. Great work Akeen! And welcome to WC!

This would be a good write to be read out loud. it's got a nice rhythm to it.

I sincerely suck at reviews, heh.

But one observation I have is that this write is a little too overwhelmed with detail. I'd say tone it down just a little bit.

[KatiePie]

A brutally honest, philosophical piece with a flow that causes the reader to be completely pulled in and hooked from the first stanza. Great write and thank you for sharing. :)
-Cathrine

[Kaotic Barbie]

"Creating a massive absence for noticing earth and life’s
Most beautiful nothings that strive to halt grief’s
Worrisome hands from interacting with the devils keys
Which could unlock dooms catastrophic doors, with simple ease."
Beautiful ending. Your words are put together perfectly...I can not tell you in words how great of a writer you are. Please continue and I will keep reading. :)

[Renesmee Carlie Cullen]

The impression I got was a person questioning life. Really great piece of poetry you got there.

[alice]

I love how you structured all of the world's problem in such simplicity. Actually, screw that, I like how keen your observation about said problems is portrayed in poetic form.
*goes straight to library*

[Tori]

Beautiful. Wonderful imagery, incredible diction. Beautiful. I LOVED it

[Paradoxical]

Great word choice and imagery, nice flow... I love it! Nice work!!

[Helena]

Oh this was an fantastic poem! Well written and thought out. Strong and purposeful prose with very insightful concepts. I especially liked the last stanza....and agree wholeheartedly with what you said. Bravo!

[Thurston]

Mate, It is a beginning. No more.

[TAO]

Creating a massive absence for noticing earth and life’s

Most beautiful nothings

Well well, I must say that I am very much impressed by this work, Akeen V. Almost lyrical, nice vibe, and that line up there was like four bottles working their magic right after I started driving. Cautious, reading this, because I find it might just knock me right over the edge; in fact, I think it did. Great work, no lie.