Broken Hallelujah

What does it mean when you're worshiping with a broken praise? What does it look like when your hallelujah is broken down to a whisper instead of a shout? In all of your brokenness, there is a thank you Jesus. You want to give more of a praise, but sometimes your hurt overrides your joy. Not to worry, your praise is not meaningless. I know it can sure feel like that. It can feel like we're just going through the motions without the emotional connection. Can we praise Him without all the legalization of what the church calls praise? For so many of us, we have associated praising God with the Clapping of hands, shouting, dancing and maybe even singing. Because that's what we grew up understanding.

Recently, I started going through something that made my heart feel like it was walking on shattered glass and every step I took stung a little harder and every breath felt like it was getting a little deeper. I was drowning in my own sorrow. I was submerged in self-pity. Sometimes I hate the word self-pity because it sounds like you don’t have a reason to be discouraged or hurt, but that hurt is real. The truth is, in that hurt we tend to linger and that lingering leads us to bathing in our own emotions. Our struggles become like a god to us, because it receives more attention from our hearts than the Lord does. The reason for my recent heartache and disappointment isn't even something that's common to most people, but that doesn’t make it hurt for me any less.

In the real world without glitter and rainbows there is sorrow, there is hurt, pain, disappointment and mourning. There are genuine Godly men and women in love with Jesus who's praise looks like giving a helping hand when they themselves are feeling helpless. Maybe your way of giving praise is reading scripture and spending time with the Lord even when your angry at Him. If you want to be real, my praise has looked just like that. I would read and I would pray with a “Whatever” attitude, but while you’re deep in your own struggle, God always presents you with someone who has a circumstance that looks different than yours does. So, then if Jesus remains in you, you have no choice but to allow Him to shine through you, because someone else needs His grace and God is using you to shine His light at a moment that you would rather not.

2 Corinthians 1:20 For as many as are the promises of God, in Christ they are “Yes.” So, through Him we say our “Amen” to the glory of God. My Hallelujah has been so broken all I could do is cry this week. All I could do is ask Him… why? Why do you allow something to go so far and just stop it mid-air, but no matter what has happened I will always give Him my Yes when He calls on me. His glory will always be allowed to shine through me, because that’s who He is in me. That obedience doesn’t come through just knowing He is God, it comes through having a relationship with my Father. It comes through never wanting to tell your Father No! Because you honor Him so greatly that no matter how angry or disappointed you are at Him, you love and cherish your relationship with Him and you know that you know His plans are for you and not against you.  Jeremiah 29:11-12 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. So, despite what it may look like, you know that He has a plan for you and even in your brokenness, you trust His plan for your life because His words do not come back void.

A life with Christ isn’t all sunshine and roses, but even in your brokenness He is there. Even when your hallelujah sounds like a whisper instead of a shout- He is there! At this point I do not know the outcome of my situation. I am still broken, I am still waking up crying every morning, but what I do know is that through my heartache God will still receive my praises. Even if they come with a Broken Hallelujah!

 

Reviews

[amyo]

I was drawn to you title. I was curious about your Broken Hallelujah. I, too, love Jesus and sharing my story. On of the questions that comes up most often has to do with "bad times" and people not understanding how I can still find peace and give glory to God when I'm allowed to suffer. I have found that through my struggles and helping others even when I was hurting, I am drawn closer to God. Your story puts all those feelings to words.

I love the idea of praise being broken but still strong. Thank you for sharing your story and faith with others.

["Aleeza"]

Absolutely! He is in the waiting even when we feel alone and broken. Thank you for reading my story 😊