Ambivalence

Ambivalence

A Poem by Aleyah

they always tell you about
love and loss and
trusting your gut and
being true to yourself but
when being true costs me you
that's something I can't bargain with
because like they say
love isn't easy right?

its like holding the detonator 
to someone else's heart
inside your own 
and disarming is just another word for
giving you one last chance
that i can't afford
but somehow 
you can

so please
just push the button

I'm paralyzed yet you're the one who feels 
nothing
i can see myself
bits of sand in an hourglass
falling
one hour to the next 
but all you see is grains of sand
buying you time
again and again

desperation is a 
a synonym for love and
hate is compared to passion
while indifference exists as comfort
an indistinguishable span of
nothingness
that you can't see
but its all I know you to feel
just what happened to us
the mountains you used to move for me
you climbed to the top with me on your back
to show me how far you'd take me and f**k
if you could build a ladder up to the stars
you'd take me there too
just to show me how small it all is
but in me
you see the universe 
and now I'm just
words on the screen
a trip to take
an obligation to fake
yet 
telling you to leave only makes you stay
but not because I'm your universe 
no
I'm not your universe anymore
I'm just another mountain
and this one
you can't move.
 

© 2015 Aleyah


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Added on March 4, 2015
Last Updated on March 4, 2015

Author

Aleyah
Aleyah

Somewhere Only I know , NM



About
My name's Aleyah :) I adore world culture and diversity, I can't stand moths and egg salad I drink orange juice like its my job! I hardcore want to travel the world some day ♥ Films, cin.. more..

Writing
Closing In Closing In

A Poem by Aleyah





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