You said you loved me

my boyfriend broke up with me: This is a new edit, i was advised to put for feeling and detail into it, I hope I did it :)

you said you loved me

you promised me things

like undying love n marriage

you made my heart sing

 

you made me feel special

but all you wanted was sex

you said if I did this or that

forever you will be blessed

 

i let you take me to bed

i let you be my first

but i was just another tramp

became just your jizz in the dirt

 

you made me do things

that made me feel dirty

you said you loved me foever

you said "you mean the world to me"

 

But you didnt mean it

the pain oh so cold

you left me for another

girl more experienced an old

 

now your with someone else

said she was better than me

you took my heart my soul

and my virginity

 

So, F**k you my Darling

I hope that you die

I let you have me completely

now all I do is cry

 

You were never worth it

you just wanted some girl

to be like a dish rag

wiping up your sweet soil

 

You hurt me Im crying

For my innocence lost

I was 13 you were 21

Was it worth all the cost

 

I hate you Ur nasty

I should have caught it much sooner

You were my Boyfriend, my molester

and me, just a bonner

 

I hate you Dave!!!!!!!!!

 

Reviews

[Ashley]

for 13 yrs old, this poem is very good. you can improve your writing by more experience. you wrote, "you promised me things" well what things are you talking about? to the reader, its a little bit confusing. so next time, add more detail into your writing.

[Finally loved <3]

wow i really loved it

[Lilmissfit]

This is a very sad, emmotional, hearbreaking poem. The longing for love and the lonelyness is so strong, if a poem could cry, this one would be flooded. This is a very good poem

[Krystyna Herst]

No one ever deserves to be treated this way. I could definitely feel the emotion in this piece.

[Parashar]

i am sure u'll get better than dave

[Parashar]

nice ....... u wrote quite well .

[tkersh]

Ur off to a great start with your poetry! Very strong emotion. As Ashley says, details are key in "you promised me things" -- what things? Dig deep! Ur poem reminds me of this book "Don't Breathe A Word" by Holly Cupala, you should check it out.
Also, for the record, it should make you feel great and wonderful and like you're the most special person in the world to him (it is called making love after all!). Any guy who makes you feel different & you should run away far & fast! Good luck, keep writing!

[Cassie Fraga]

welp for this being one of a few of your first writes i must say your doing a great job with point blank...ya know getting the message across. all we need is a lil bit more emotion in it... your perception of the situation.
keep up the writes lil sis... no worries I can see u will only get better in this...
GREAT WRITE!!
**tips my lyrical wand to you**

[Daenerys]

This is a very powerful voice you have in this poem. It shows that break ups are the worst thing in the world! I'm sorry this happened to you and he's such a jerk for making you do dirty things with him and then he just leaves.

[astoundinglyattractive]

This poem has a good base and a better theme. Though you wrote in verse, there did not seem to be any consistent ryme scheme. When there were rymes, it was random and awkward, and when there were not rymes, it broke the flow of the poem. I like the idea, and you have obvious skill in writing, but, like all artists, you have alot to work on. I feel like yo could lengthen it and add more details. This would be a great poem for you to revisit in a couple months to veiw or progress. I love to re-read and write old poems, and i suggest you do that too. It really helps! I do, however, absolutly LOVE the end "SCREW YOU", and i am upset that this boy treated you like he did.

[MAC]

i love reality snips poetry. nice style, the lack of anger shows you really fell for him. you should write another piece about this and let him have it as if it were to be the last words ever spoken about this subject. excellent write.