Always you

This is a flash a small part of a bigger story

I wanted to tell you, to tell you so much that I nearly broke everytime we were together, but I didn't, I carried on pretending like I didn't care,  didn't care that you melted my heart with every look you gave me, that goosebumps appeared when you touched my hand, or that I shed a tear everytime you left me to go back there, and for a while I thought you believed it and was giving up on me, but then you would keep showing up. Why did you do that?  I never knew or maybe I did.

You had everything yet I knew you would risk it all for me, why? I know why, but I was scared and young and you were the first person I'd ever loved, even though I didn't understand what love was then, maybe I still don't cause I've never felt like I did with you.

When I finally realised I needed you it was to late, and I regret not telling you although deep down I know your knew, I pray you knew.

I still visit you loads and I want to leave a message on the flowers I lay, but I still can't bring myself to even write it on a piece of paper, it's like I'm scared if I finally release my feeling even to the earth you're under, I will start to lose them and forget you, which I just can't do.