You'll be fine, and I'll be better

Dear friend, dear as gold
I was all lost and I couldn't find a way
Walking in insecurity, while everyone's towards me cold
Nights passed, by crying my heart out because of what they used to say
The pain pursued even on the brightest days
I pushed it away but it kept calling on those names
The smirks and laughs, flashing-on in my mind
No words to tell anymore to anyone
It's a sign, a rusted sign
That I kept it the whole time inside
I promised that I'll cope, I'll bear
I'll be strong and throw away the fear
Your words, priceless friend, were what kept me here
But day by day, I can't still be here
To hear,
It's all too much, and I'm still deeply lost
I guess my place isn't here, I guess it's in the dust
Or is it besides flowers and roses? The sea and the sand?
We said always and forever, hand to hand
But I know I have to let you go
I should let myself go..
No more drama to listen to, no more bound to me
It's my choice, let it be
You'll be fine without me, and I'll be better
If it does matter

Author's Note

I was writing this the 18th September, at night, basically at 00:13. I just wanted to write this to feel what it is like to be suicidal-thinking. I sometimes think how would it be if I wasn't here, so this is just a poem, but deep down someone might relate to it. And one thing, I know many people went trough hard times, many different issues, but every single one of them ended up being fine. Being better now. I promise, and I believe, that every difficulty has a shining road behind.