One Month

How I felt almost everyday in May.

I'm sick and tired of everyone and everything.

Believe it or not, your comments actually sting.

I feel like I can't do it anymore.

All life is is a game, but I can't seem to score.

If only I could feel this good forever.

But the feeling of sadness compared to happiness is always steadier.

There's hope in lost love isn't there?

Why doesn't she freaking care?

Useless is all I am.

But she, she is a sham.

Sometimes I feel like I should die.

I wonder if it's because I'm "shy."

I failed at my goal yesterday.

And that doesn't make me feel okay.

What's the point in  living a life I no longer want to live?

I try and try but I feel like it's become impossible to thrive.

There is no one I can talk to.

The only person who knows the real me is whoever is reading this, which is you.

I can't help but wonder how my life would be if I was different.

Would I be like every other girl, transparent?

I treat others the way they respect me.

So if you have the guts to disrespect me, then leave me be.

Is it true that effort is all that matters?

In the end it doesn't matter, the more effort you have, the more your effort scatters.

Do you think I'm difficult to deal with?

If I was an object, would I make a bad gift.

Today I made a dumb choice.

I'm sure that no one at school noticed my missing voice.

If you want to play the game of immaturity then go ahead.

I love playing that pathetic game because when you think you're the one winning, I'm winning instead.

It's sad that I hate to be seen.

What can I say, the thought of seeing people outside of school doesn't make me feel too keen.

Unappreciative brats should know their place.

In her eyes all this loving family is is a waste of space.

The more I go to school, the more I feel worthless.

No, I'm not being bullied but people treat me like I'm too pointless.

She can't help to think if her life is true.

Everyday she is fading bit by bit too.

I'm always tired that's all.

Just ignore the fact that I want to find a corner and curl up into a ball.

All I ever feel is pain.

What's the point in living if I feel like I have nothing else to gain?

I need to hold on for a few more days.

But sometimes patient pays.

I hope that everyone who has done me wrong painfully dies.

The only people that give me respect are Caucasian guys.

Why is happiness so difficult to get?

For me, happiness would be a high price I bet.

I feel so broken beyond repair.

And sometimes I wonder if people notice but they don't care.

Doesn't it feel great to remember sometimes?

Maybe it is, maybe it's not, though it's better than meaningless hymns.

Sometimes it's not worth holding on.

What's it matter, everyone at school wants me gone.

And then sometimes I feel so much sadness that I wonder how I still manage a laugh.

And is it me or does smiling feel like complicated math.

I try to take one step forward but take six steps back.

What is it that I lack?

It feels great to feel the feeling of being free.

Maybe I can once again be me.

Please remember how to love someone.

And most of all, please remember in this world you're not the only one.

Reviews

[Onlyme]

Sometimes people who are overly opinionated make other feel a bit scared of them. In case they feel they are going to be judged by the harshly. When really sometimes. Being overly opinionated means you are frustrated with oneself more than anyone else. I speak from experience of this one. From someone who does it to me. And they are actually quite insecure inside and out. And hate themselves so they project how the feel onto others. If that makes sense. You have to learn to relax calm down and more so stop overthinking things in general in your life and take each new day as it comes. And learn to try to just go with the flow even thou you hate it and want to be in control when you can not control everything and everyone in life. And this person does the exact same thing. You just cant control life or people. When you understand that it helps make life easier for you. You maybe not like what I said. but being honest and open. And trying to help in my way.

[Meliss@k]

Oh, my..... this is so heart wrenching


I read your lines about “making an effort, and if it really matters”? And was immediately reminded of a poem (or maybe story, I’ll have to check) that I posted a while back on here.

And then how you kept saying “does anyone even care about me? They never notice when I’m gone” wanted me to prove to you that my heart is literally aching for you (or the character in this poem) and I just wanted to hug you and cheer you up

And then I was feeling inspired to make a poem that makes people laugh, so that if people (like the one in your poem) ever come across it, maybe I can bring a little bit of hope and joy into their lives...

This poem pulled at all of my heart strings

Great write, and I hope things get better for the person in the poem 🧡

[Amy]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked my poem! :)