The Landscape of my Dreams

 

Inside of my dreams

you bring to me the stars

cut into the bending shapes

of buildings and the crumbling

texture of asphalt.

 

I asked you for a mountain

and you painted it with your eyes,

telling me not to worry about

the snow falling on its slopes,

covering the tiny trees

with a blanket of eggshell.

 

I told you that I saw

shapes in the clouds,

faces of people

who had been gone

since before I was born;

you reassured me

they were only angels

before you wiped them away

like smudges on a window.

 

You offered me your heart

and I tucked it away

in the back pocket of my jeans,

careful not to bend the edges,

and you looked at me sideways,

from ten paces away,

as though I owed you something

and I knew that I did,

but my heart wouldn’t budge

from the folded flesh of my chest,

so instead I gave you a song,

singing to you as the rain

started to fall and puddle around us,

creating oily mirrors at our feet.

 

I apologized for singing off-key,

and you asked me to dance,

so we wrapped ourselves together

and swayed slowly to the sound

of raindrops on rooftops,

and I closed my eyes,

waiting for your lips,

only a breath between us,

until I was drunk on your scent,

and the sweet taste of your mouth

only lulled me deeper into delirium

until I fell asleep in your kiss.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

W onderful post, imagi native, intense, skilfully c onstructed..

'I asked you for a mountainand you painted it with your eyes,telling me not to worry aboutthe snow falling on its slopes, covering the tiny trees with a blanket of eggshell.' - what a desc ript ion, what a ma g ical use of words!

Thank y ou for s haring

[Katherine Wyatt]

Beautiful..keeping the reader with you all the way..what a beautiful end..Fantastic piece!

[bluessadmood]

this is so dreamy different a little from most i read,wonderful,i just loved that in your dreams you asked for the stars,and there you are,then you asked for a mountain and he painted with his eyes,only telling not to worry about the snow flakes,then you told of worrying shapes in the clouds of people long gone like you afraid ,he calmed you not to worry for they are angels and he even wiped away,he even offered you his heart ,and you tucked it away making sure it will not mess with your jeans,he did all and more but still your heart did not move,you only offered a song ,it came in the rain that left mirrors at your feet,and at last you offered to dance ,and you swayed to the music of rain drops and at last... only at last you offered him your lips ,so sweet love and so gentle you came to know that you fell asleep,through his kiss,i was so touched ,such love is only for dreamers and you and him were true lovers who dreamed and dreamed,just lovely ,one of the best i read

[Gandré]

it is clever writing to ask the soul about our dreams. This was a wonderful experience also for me.. so sensual loving and honest...ou catch the audience and keep them dreaming with you about a happy relationship situation. it is an audacious romantic fansizing
You offered me your heartand I tucked it awayin the back pocket of my jeans,careful not to bend the edges -----and it is deliciously innocent on the other hand also provocative. The lyrical narrative is also strong, as you never cease to leave me with wonderful feelings. I adored it !! wonderful. don t disappear.

[Shane William]

It's really sweet. And the last verse really got me. Unrelenting affection is just what keeps me going.

[THE LOST ROSE]

What a creative poem. I love the love story of this event. WOW! I will check out your other material. Great Write! I will read this over again. Thanks for the review.

[Suzanne Deakins]

This is an unusual piece of work. I think each stanza has its own life almost a set of poems in a poem telling the whole story... the idea of a soul or heart being tucked away and possibly bent is a good twist on a rather mundane idea that gives it a depth... keep up the good work...!!!

[[untitled]]

"started to fall and puddle around us,
creating oily mirrors at our feet." - I like this, and I like the way you put words to what we all have seen, but never name ourselves. And the gentle way with which you meld two people together in such romantic ways, is amazing.