Search for Understanding

Thank you to a good friend for his helpful editing... :o)

 

Cast away, forgotten,

like so much worn driftwood

expelled from an ambivalent sea;

floating through turbulent waters,

placed carelessly on an unknown shore.

 

I find myself on this shore, where

land and sea meet like a hairline crack

in concrete worn too thin by age,

and I am drifting, through the minutes,

the hours, the too long days, finding

it ever more difficult to gain my bearings.

 

Sunlight traces cloud shapes,

sublime forms with faces of their own,

lazing across the expansive blue, and

I imagine the peace in such a place,

where I could cast my eyes down

upon the vine-like tendrils of gray

running through nature’s dusky hues;

muted browns and whitewashed greens,

 

and I could gaze at my reflection

in the shimmering mirror of the ocean,

and seeing myself from so far away

I would somehow seem more whole;

an ancient beauty on a bed of silk,

arms and legs dangling effortlessly.

 

Yet I am here, sliding down the curve of gravity

to a place where my heart so often

simply feels out of place, and I walk

along a deserted shoreline, where

the mournful cry of seagulls and

the whispering orchestra of the breeze

lull me in to the surreal serenity

of a place where no matter how hard I try

I simply cannot fathom my own future.

Reviews

[Tony Hwilka]

Your poem is well written and the imagery really puts one is a peaceful trance. I have one suggestion since I stumbled on this line. the hours, the too long days-- Drop the too, the line reads smoother. Of course this is only my opinion. Tony

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

This is really amazing... I find someone who feels more out of place when in love then when they are not maybe cause they don't feel they deserve it... no matter the case you really display such raw and powerful emotions here.

[Chris Willits]

I feel so connected to this piece. I mean it feels like something I want to say in my poems but just never can put it together. A wonderful poem good job.

[S.J.Floreen]

How I feel most of the time, lol.

[Gandré]

The beginning, first stanza is a sort of verse that paint some mental image, often haunting...throughout the peom...what made it interesting was the choice of different angle of mood represented, and the different styles always seeking in oyur self you employed the physical structures and the use of images made it indeed a surreal journey,lyrical in its case....."the mournful cry of seagulls andthe whispering orchestra of the breezelull me in to the surreal serenity"--------here I like how you made a connection between the outer and inner world, between the ocean and its association in this certain moment.... I love this poem, a very sensible portrait of seeking.. wonderful hmm ! .

[bluessadmood]

I see a hint of sadness as you walk the shore,feeling castaway,and forgotten,then you tell wonders of what you see...Sunlight traces cloud shapes,
sublime forms with faces of their own,
lazing across the expansive blue, and
I imagine the peace in such a place,
where I could cast my eyes down...such wonderful feeling telling of the beauty that you see,and then you like yourself saying i see my self as whole on the mirror of the sea,like an ancient beauty arms legs dangling,but still your heart see itself so out of place...again i see lovely picture,of you ,the sea shores ,the sea gulls ,the soft breeze,oh i am only few feet away and i can see the whole thing, in front of me and i just can not stand so much beauty nature could give to see,wonderful as ever

[Pax Analog]

The seeker finds serenity surreal when what is sought sees through one's own eyes. The limbo lull of cradle-rocking tides, sibilant breeze, only frees when there's no one left to fathom, when timelessness caresses all always, when past-present-future dissolve ineffably.

[Don Coorough]

How else could you ever be seen than as the contemporary ancient beauty on a bed of silk? This is stirring verse. The lulling assonance in "surreal serenity" hints that the sounds mirror the feelings captured within the images you present. "land and sea meet like a hairline crack/in concrete worn too thin by age,/and I am drifting, through the minutes,/the hours, the too long days, finding/it ever more difficult to gain my bearings." What a vivid ride. The whole last stanza is gripping. But really, one must take in the piece as a whole, and its haunting, almost autumnal feeling, the melancholy and longing are intense and real and inspired. I was moved. - EllisD