The Feeble Old Mind

A Reflection

What must she be thinking? She sees us busy, quarrelling, shouting, and arguing. Once she must have had an authoritative voice. Once she must have been one of the most important members of the family. Now she is often shut quiet. Sometimes, I want to ask her if she saw the changes coming. If not, then how does she adapt to these changes, miserably trying to match the paces of the younger members of the family. What is she thinking when she is quiet? Is she thinking about her death? Can she see when it’s coming? I dread the day...does she? Or is she simply watching the day-to-day things taking place letting things go as they are going, feeling that her days are past and things are not in her hands to control anymore. But that again goes back to that only one thought- that of death...counting the days when she breathes her last.

What does she feel as she sees all the ups and downs in the family? I wish she would speak more. I wish she would be listened to more often. I wish she could walk. I wish to give her all that her heart desires at this age because the truth is that someday she’s going to leave us all, leaving a vacuum which no one would be able to fill. What then? She is old. But that does not mean you ignore her. Often I see her weeping by herself...I cannot guess why- because of being ignored or simply remembering the past?

I think about all these because I have spent a large part of my childhood with her. I have seen her speaking more, being heard more. I have seen her authoritative voice. I have seen her walking. Back then, she used to wipe my tears. I’m ashamed that I see her weeping and hardly ever ask her the reason.  I pretend to not have seen it because I feel that she doesn’t want to be seen weeping. I wish I could ask her the reasons. I wish I could give her more than she gets. She doesn’t ask for anything, never disturbs anyone. She is always by herself- thinking, watching daily soaps on that square television around the corner, and as I gently pass by her side, it’s that wait in her eyes that scares me.

Author's Note

This is not a story, guys. This is only a reflection.

Reviews

[Akshat♥]

I can totally relate to this piece.Everyone has some difficulties in life. If we can see someone smiling that is because they have come through hard times to feel joy. And we must know joy is wonderful because we know very well about sadness.As every day passes so does these sad phases. Soon you will get happiness. Thank you for sharing it.