Chapter 1-2

I fingered through the buttons in the basket on the market stall, acting as though I were fascinated by them. Another woman strode up beside me and began to browse through the various buttons and fabrics. I pretended to ignore her completely, while I waited for one of the two women to start a conversation. My gaze fell briefly onto the small ornate set of silver buttons on the table to my left. I was careful, though, and quickly turned away with as much uninterested as I could muster and began to flip through the small patches of cloth, the only things that I could actually afford, that were folded in a basket above the buttons. I wouldn’t be able to keep going through things on the table for much longer without looking suspicious. 

Just as I was considering leaving the booth, the woman beside me began to ask about buying a large piece of silk. I huffed silently in contempt and shot the woman a glare. The upper class made me sick. They came to the markets to buy things like silk when they probably had a dozen other silk clothing articles, and they never even gaze a second look to those like me, who could only dream of what it was like to have more than the one wool dress that they wore. 

I quickly shook those thoughts away. If I didn’t move now, I would miss the chance that I had been waiting for this whole time. I shot one brief glance out of the corner of my eye to the two conversing woman and began to act. I sighed audibly and grabbed a piece of green patch fabric from the basket with my right hand. My left hand fell to the table surface and slid back toward my side. I barely moved my fingers around the set of silver buttons and slid them off the table’s edge. They fell into my open bag hanging at my side. Without hesitating a moment or glancing down, I cleared my throat and stepped toward the selling woman. 

“Yes?” the woman said, eyeing me slightly warily. I ignored her reaction, used to it by now, and held out the piece of fabric.

“Do you have the money to pay for that?” the woman asked. I shot the woman a glare and reached into my bag. I pulled out a small silver coin and placed it heavily on the table. The woman’s brows rose in surprise. I clenched my jaw, to keep from saying anything that I shouldn’t.

“Thank you,” I mumbled, nodding curtly to the woman and turning away. I strode down the street a little ways with my head down to attract less attention. 

After I was sure that I was far enough, I turned down a side alley next to one of the large baker’s stores. The scent of fresh baked bread and pastries made my mouth water. I was almost tempted to go and try to trade the baker the silver buttons for his goods, but I immediately dismissed the idea. There were only so many risks that I could afford to take. I glanced back down the street to make sure that I wasn’t being followed and slunk to the side of the alley. Shuffling through my bag, I pulled out the set of four silver buttons and fingered them, allowing my lips to curve into a small smile. Tomorrow, I would take the buttons to the seamstress and sell them. My siblings would be able to eat to well for the next few days.

Tucking the buttons carefully back into my bag to start my way home, I looked up into the face of a young man standing directly in front of me. My heart skipped a beat as I flinched in surprise. How had he gotten there without me noticing? How long had he been there? Had he seen everything?Fear crept into my chest and clogged my airway. 

Silence hung between us both. I stared up into his emotionless gray eyes, framed by shaggy light brown hair and waited for him to say something. The tension and awkwardness grew more unbearable by every thundering heartbeat. 

Suddenly, the young man’s whole face lit up with an easy, friendly smile, and he stretched out his hand in greeting.

“I’m Terence,” he said in a deep, casual voice. I raised my brows in shock and glanced over him. He looked to be about my age, if not a little older, with a tall, thinner build. His clothes were of a middle-class fashion, a simple leather jerkin over a white shirt with tan pants and black boots. It was nothing too fancy, yet it was much better than anything that my own brothers had ever owned. He was certainly not of my class. I also took notice of the wealthy looking dagger that hung on his belt. Now that was something that would put food on my family’s table for a month. 

“Do you have a name?” the young man said, interrupting my thoughts. I quickly looked up with warmth flooding my cheeks and mentally kicked myself for my stupidity.

“I’m Auden Hindar,” I replied quickly. I glanced down the alley in the direction of home. Terence nodded and simply stared at me expectantly. How dearly I wished that I could just disappear and escape form the awkwardness of this situation. Clearing my throat, I said the first thing that came to mind. “May I help you with something, sir?”

“I’m not a sir. And no,” Terence said simply with a grin that I recognized all too well. My brothers always gave me that grin when they were up to something mischievous. I narrowed my eyes and cocked my head ever so slightly. The young man crossed his arms across his chest casually and leaned his shoulder against the alley wall. “I just thought that you might be interested in knowing that I saw what you did. I saw all of it, from the booth to you pulling those buttons out of your bag.”

My heart leapt in my chest. I did my best to hide the fear, that had begun to kick up a storm inside me, from reaching her eyes. “I don’t know what you are referring to,” I said. As soon as it left my mouth, I knew that I had spoken too quickly.

Terence lifted a brow skeptically and pursed his lips, as if trying to hide a smile. His eyes stared into mine, seeming to weigh my word. It was obvious on his face, that he didn’t believe me. He knew my secret. I had finally been found out. I racked my brain for something, anything, to say to help the situation, but what came out was nothing better than admitting my guilt. 

“I have good reasons for what I did,” I declared, raising my chin with confidence that I didn’t feel. “My family needs these buttons for food more than those fancy nobles ever will for their ridiculous clothing.”

I didn’t even bother waiting to see his reaction. I had to get out of there as soon as possible. I quickly ducked my head and began to walk briskly past Terence. His hand quickly reached out and grabbed my upper arm gently, yet firmly. My whole body tensed under his grip.

“Wait,” he said, turning me to face him. His gray eyes no longer smiled. Instead, they shone with something between compassion, remorse, and curiosity. “Why don’t you simply get a job?”

“You say that as though it were an actual option?” I huffed, sending him a sharp glare. He furrowed his brow and frowned. To me, his question was an ignorant, foolish one. It was as obvious as day to me, but I could easily see that it wasn’t to him. I had to no choice, but to explain. I doubted that this young man was going to let me leave without an explanation. He was too nosy for that. I sighed and yanked my arm against his grip. He let go quickly and put his hands up quickly before crossing them again. I matched his posture in that way, by crossing my own arms. “Tell me, Terence. Who do you know in this city who would be willing to offer a decent job to someone like me? No one is looking for homely, poor young woman from a little town in the middle of nowhere to work for them in their trade. I have four siblings and a grieving mother to look after and feed. My older brother works in the local stables, but his wages aren’t enough to feed us all. I have to do something to help keep food on the table.”

“Even if that something is something wrong?” he challenged cooly, raising one brow. 

“You are the nosy one, aren’t you?”I snapped, shaking my head and shooting him a weak glare. Somehow, even though I wanted to be furious at him, like I normally would have gotten with most people at this point, I could only managed to be weakly annoyed with this young man. I fastened the clasp of my bag quickly and began to walk slowly down the alley toward the city gates. 

Behind me, I could feel Terence following me, but I ignored him as he came up beside me. He didn’t say anything. He only walked nonchalantly beside me. 

As we exited the alley onto the busy street, I glanced around at the many people that had stopped to stare briefly at the pair of us. Terence didn’t even seem to notice the attention that we were attracting by seen together. People from the upper-middle class and low class were almost never seen together, unless it was for some brief business affair, which this was most obviously not. I lifted my chin and blanked my expression. I had nothing to loss from the gossip and awful mumbling that would spread soon. My name and status were already too low for that. Terence, on the other hand, had a lot to lose from this. Even though I didn’t know who he was, I was sure that at least some of these people did know him somehow. 

For the briefest second, I almost felt bad for him. I dismissed that thought as quickly as it came, though. If this nosy, blunt nuisance of a young man was fine with ruining his name by associating with me, who was I to step in the way of it.

We walked in surprisingly comfortable silence all the way to the city gates. The whole way, I silently urged him to go away, wishing that I could just scream at him to leave, but he stayed right at my side the whole time. 

The stoic, expressionless guards let us pass with their normally blank gazes following the pair of us. If there was anything that I really hated, it was getting unwanted attention trained on me. It made me feel too vulnerable to be noticed by so many people. In that moment, as we passed through the gates, I had to clench my fists to keep from slapping Terence across the face. Why did he have to attract attention to me like this? Why couldn’t he just leave me alone? Was he punishing me in his own mischievous way for stealing those buttons?

Terence seemed to notice my weakly repressed anger, because when he glanced at me, his face lit by an amused grin, as if he was enjoying how uncomfortable this was making me. I sent him the harshest glare that I could manage and quickened my stride in vain hope that he would get my message and go away. Of course, he didn’t. He kept up with my pace without any hesitation. 

As we continued the walk in silence down the old road to the small cluster of huddled cabins in the distance, where I lived, we began to see less and less people, and my anger dissipated into only a slightly agitated curiosity. 

“Why were you watching me anyway when I was at the booth?” I asked, breaking our silence. I glanced over at him out of the corner of my eye and saw his lips quirk into a victorious smile. He had been waiting for me to speak.

“How do you know that I was watching you? I might have just glanced over and seen you take the buttons from the table,” he replied in an easy, laughing tone. I met his gaze with a raised brow and rolled my eyes. 

“The fact that you just said that you ‘might have’ anything pretty much gives it away,” I answered. I surprisingly found myself smiling at the conversation. It was rare that I ever had any teasing, easy conversations like this outside of my family. Even though I had never met him before today and he annoyed me like nothing else, it was almost like having a friend in that moment, which was something that I had never had before. I continued, “Besides, I have been doing this stuff long enough without being caught to know that I was smooth enough in my act. You would have been having to watch me very carefully to notice that I did anything. That merchant woman likely won’t even notice until she packs up later. You were watching me.”

Terence let out a low, pleasurable chuckle. “Very well. I admit to it. I was watching you.”

“Why? Most people, especially those of your class don’t even notice me. I am practically invisible to them. Yet, you stopped to watch me for some reason,” I insisted, sincerely curious. I glanced over at him and saw what I thought was a flash of conflicted hesitation. That look vanished from his gray eyes so quickly, though, that I wasn’t sure if I hadn’t just imagined it. 

“You reminded me of someone in a painting that hangs in my master’s office,” Terence said simply, staring straight ahead. I wrinkled my brow. That was not the answer that I had been expecting

“Your master?” I asked, surprised by the reference.

“Yes,” he said, turning to smile reassuringly at me. “I am an apprentice to the fletcher, Kaido Milick.”

“Oh,”I said, less to what he said and more to the realization that came over me. “The picture that you saw. Was it of an old man with a whitened hair and beard, warm smile, and scar across the base of his neck?”

“Well, yes,” he answered with surprise tainting his words. “How did you know?”

“That man is my grandfather. Your master, as you call him, was a highly respected and very dear friend of both my grandfather and father. I’ve only met him a handful of times when I used to travel with my father to the city to see him and buy his craft. My father used to say that he made the finest bows, arrows, and knives in the entire country.” Terence beamed with pride to hear the work that he helped with spoken of so highly. I couldn’t help but let a smile ease onto my own face. “My mother always used to tell me that I look just like my grandfather.”

“Your warm brown green eyes were what gave you away,” Terence admitted. My cheeks blush involuntarily. No one besides my mother and my brothers, who teased me for them, had ever taken notice of my eyes before. I turned my face away and stared into the dancing summer grass on the side of the road. Terence must have noticed my uncomfortableness, because he was quick to change the subject. “Does Kaido know that you are here? I don’t think that I have ever seen you before today.”

Though I was sure that he was simply asking out of ignorant curiosity, I tensed and glared at the ground in front of me. My mood immediately darkened. I didn’t want to answer his question, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say without making it obvious that I was avoiding it. I took in a deep breathe and spoke in a low tone that sounded annoyingly weak to even myself. 

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know that any of my family are here. And it had better stay that way.” I sent him a pointed, warning glare. He raised a brow. His face was serious and intent. “On the last occasion that my father saw your master, they had a terrible quarrel. They would likely have killed each other, if my mother hadn’t stepped in. She had a way of bring peace between people like no one else did, but my father and Kaido still harbored their bitterness toward one another for year after. My older brother and I made a pact when we moved here that we wouldn’t associate with Kaido for any reason. We have younger siblings to take care of, and we can’t risk any bitterness he might still harbor.”

Terence was silent for a moment. I glanced over at him to see a seriousness and contemplation that somehow gave me a deeper respect for him. His face reminded me of my older brother, Liam’s face when he was concerned for us and was trying to make up his mind about what was best for us. 

Finally, Terence nodded and met my gaze with reassurance and mature sincerity. “I give you my word that I will respect your wish of secrecy, even to my master.”

I managed stared into his gray eyes and managed a weak smile. There was no doubt when he looked at me that he was speaking the truth. His eyes promised me that he would die before ever breaking the promise that he had just made. 

“Thank you,” I said softly, stopping to looks straight up at him. I had the sudden impulse to think of him as a friend, but I quickly caught myself and turned away from him. I knew better than to be so quick to trust anyone. I quickly picked up my pace again and avoided his gaze.

For the rest of the walk, I did my best to coldly ignore him, even though I could feel his gaze rested so intensely on me. Guilt weighed down like a heavy burden on my shoulders. Part of me wanted to trust him and to not push him away like I did everyone else who had ever tried to be my friend, but the sensible part of me told me that I knew better.

When we entered the small community that I lived in, all of the people outside began to whisper and stare at us again. My cheeks flooded with warmth. I wished so desperately that I could just pull my hair out of my braid so that it could hide my face. Unlike in the city, the people here did take notice of me and knew who I was. I would likely be the center of the gossip here for a few days. 

“Am I embarrassing you?” Terence asked sincerely. I glanced at him, but quickly averted my gaze. Every instinct and logical art of my brain told me to say yes and tell him to go away, but for some unexplainable reason, I just couldn’t do it.

“No, it’s fine,” I said quickly. I darted a glance over to see his mouth quirk up in a small smile.

As we rounded the last bend and came in sight of my cabin, I noticed two of my brothers, Liam and Jamis outside chopping logs into firewood with the borrowed community axe. Liam and Jamis’s eye both grew incredibly wide as they caught sight of Terence beside me. I tried my best to hide a smile at their reactions, but I was sure that I was failing. 

Liam stepped up with a wide defensive stance and crossed his arms tightly over his chest. I almost felt bad for Terence with the glare that my older brother was giving him. I stopped walking in front of my brother, and Terence stopped a pace behind me. 

“Who is this, Auden?” Liam asked in a much deeper voice than usual. I turned to Terence and met his gaze with a smile. It was time for his to get what was coming to him. I turned back to my brother and shrugged casually. 

“Oh, don’t worry, brother. It is only a random, wealthy young man who decided to stalk me through town today and followed me home,” I said as nonchalantly as I possibly could, while trying to maintain my composure. 

With that, I casually strode past Liam toward the house. Jamis quickly ran up beside me and shot me a huge grin. “Are you trying to get him killed?”

I chuckled lightly and sent a glance back at the two young men standing awkwardly across from each other. “Pretty much,” I replied with a laugh. 

“Mean, Auden,” my brother said, sending a mischievous glance back at the pair. 

Once we were inside the little cabin, I set down my bag on the small table and glanced at the small bit of bread and cheese left on the counter. I sighed quietly. At least, I knew that we would have better food tomorrow. 

“Are Finian and Rosa home yet from the school?” I asked Jamis, who was shuffling around behind me in the small chest that held most of the few belongings that my family owned. The school that my little siblings went to wasn’t much more than a tiny little cabin with a few parchment’s hanging on the wall and a little wooden desk. It didn’t even have desks or chairs of the students. My two younger siblings enjoyed it, though, and seemed to learn, so it was worth it. 

“No, not yet. They should be back any minute though,” Jamis answered, shutting the chest heavily. I nodded and took out the bread and cheese to portion it for supper. Jamis came around and stood in front of me with his arms crossed. I glanced up at him and raised a brow. He stared at me expectantly. 

“What?” I sighed, standing up straight to look him in the eye. He was only a year younger than me, but he was almost taller than I was. 

“Are you going to explain the boy or not?” he asked, nodding toward the door. I sighed and strode over to the one window in the entire cabin, which faced out toward where the two young men still stood, Liam was speaking, his posture tense and defensive. Terence stared at him with hands at his side. It was obvious that he was nervous. I couldn’t really blame him.

After a minute, Terence nodded to something that Liam said and began to walk back down the road toward the city with his shoulders sagging ever so slightly. 

“I’ll tell you about it later,” I said quietly to Jamis, staring out at Terence with an odd sense of guilt. 

As he was just about to round the corner, he turned back and met my gaze. He smiled easily at me and waved. I couldn’t help but smile back. He turned the corner, and I knew in that moment that this wasn’t the last time that I would see that young man.

º º º

“Auden! Auden, wake up,” a small whispering voice said, breaking through my sleep. I let out a low moan and rolled over onto my side. Something gripped my shoulder and began to shake furiously. 

I groaned and yanked my shoulder away to sit up. I glanced around until I saw the wide-eyed little face framed by messy curls that stared at me through the darkness.

“Auden?” Kali whispered urgently. I sucked in a deep breath to push away the annoyance that threatened to surface and placed my hand on her cheek gently.

“What is it?” I managed in little more than a hoarse whisper. I glanced quickly around the small room to the boy’s two beds. They are still sound asleep. Kali scooted closer to me and nestled herself into the covers right beside me. She wrapped her arms around my waist tightly and stared up at me with a quivering lip. 

“I… I had a dream about mother and father again,” she whimpered, tightening her grip. I sighed quietly and pulled her little body tightly against my side.

“What happened?” I urged gently, stroking her short hair between my fingers. Part of me was asking because I knew that it would comfort her to share and part of me was asking out of some desperate longing to talk about my parents that I didn’t even realize that I had. 

“We were all playing outside in the sun. Everybody in the family. We having fun and laughing.” I couldn’t help but smile to myself. To little Kali, these were simply vague memories or fairytale dreams that she had imagined, but to me, they were some of my most dear memories. I remembered those joyful times ever so well. Kali’s trembling voice snapped me out of my thoughts. “Then, monsters came into the village and killed mother and father both.”

Tears immediately welled unbidden and a silent sob stuck in my throat. I clenched my eyes shut. I couldn’t break down, not now, not in front of my already frightened little sister. 

“Auden?” she said quietly. I swallowed down the lump in throat barely enough to speak and kept my eyes closed. 

“Yes?” I whispered.

“Monsters didn’t really kill mother and father did they?” 

Her question was a purely innocent one, but it still drove a dagger straight through my heart. 

“No, of course not,” I said giving her arm a gentle squeeze. The words slipped out quickly. Too quickly. But what else could I say to a six-year-old little girl? There was no way that I could ever tell her that her dream wasn’t fully a dream. That her dream was only a twisted memory that she hadn’t been old enough to understand. No, our parents hadn’t been killed by monsters, but close enough. 

“Is is almost morning?” Kali asked with a little yawn. “I’m hungry.”

I glanced down at her and ruffled her hair with my hand. All the little girl’s worries seemed to be forgotten. How I wished that I could dismiss my haunting memories and thoughts away so quickly. 

“Why don’t you go run and check out the window?” I suggested untangling her arms from around my waist and giving her a light shove. 

Kali quickly bounced off the bed with an echoing thud. At the sound, she turned back to me with wide eyes. I smiled and lifted a finger to my lips. She imitated me by putting her little finger to her own lips and turning away. Her little feet pattered across the floor slowly as she tiptoed from the room. 

Once she was gone, I let out a low sigh and flung the thin wool blanket off my legs. I didn’t really want to get up, but I knew better than to stay in bed, no matter what time it was. I had managed to put my memories away in my mind for now, but they would surely return to haunt my sleep. I scooped up my clothes at the end of the bed and quickly changed behind the makeshift wool curtain in the far corner. 

Just as I was securing the belt around my skirt, the curtain pulled back and Kali’s little head peeked in. 

“Morning isn’t here yet. The sky’s still grayish,” she whispered with a wide yawn. I smiled down at her and stroked her curls. 

“Why don’t you go on back and snuggle up in the bed?” 

Kali palmed her eyes sleepily and nodded. I rested my hands on her shoulders and steered her to the bed. She leapt up and pulled the covers up to her chin. I stroked her soft brown curls once more as she closed her eyes and turned away toward the door. 

“Aren’t you coming to sleep?” Her little whisper forced me to cringe slightly. I turned back and shook my head with a smile that I knew it was too dark to see. 

“You go on to sleep, though. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?” I said quietly. She didn’t reply, and I couldn’t see well enough to see her response from across the room. I assumed that she had agreed because she soon rolled over and curled up with her back facing me. 

I glanced once more over my sleeping siblings, briefly tempted to climb back into my bed beside Kali. With a small sigh, I quietly exited the room into the main room of our cabin. I scanned the room. I had no idea what I was going to do until dawn. In fact, I didn’t even know how many hours I still had left. 

I walked over to the window and stared up at the sky. It was a darkish grayish color. There was still quite some time before the sun fully rose. I sighed heavily and began to brush my fingers through my thick brown strands that fell over my shoulders and spun it into a messy bun at the base of my neck. 

For the next few hours, I worked on whatever chores that I could possibly find to keep my mind busy from bringing in extra wood for the small fireplace to reorganizing our nearly-empty cabinet of food to hauling water from the creek to washing down all of the surfaces that I could think of. 

By the time the sun came up, I was feeling beyond exhaustion, and the need to sleep was becoming unbearable. I was just about to give in and go to bed as I stared out the window when heavy footsteps came from behind me. I quickly spun on my heels to find Liam staring down at me with a raised brow. 

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked. 

“I couldn’t sleep,” I admitted, averting my attention to preparing breakfast for him. 

“Dreams?” he guessed, moving the plates from the small shelf on the wall to the table. 

I shrugged, keeping my head down. “Not my own.”

“I see.” He really did. We had both been wakened up countless times to our younger sibling’s nightmares. It was almost worse than waking up to our own. “How long have you been up?” 

I shrugged again and began to distribute the small amount of five-day-old bread that was left out onto each plate, along with a slice of apple that I had purchased the day before. I almost hesitated to put any on my own plate, but I knew that Liam would never allow it. It was another of the promises that we had made to each other. We would never give up our portion of food, unless absolutely necessary. Our siblings needed us, and we couldn’t help them if we were not taking care of ourselves. 

Liam was still standing beside me, likely waiting for me to answer his question, but I pretended not to notice. Loud, heavy footsteps echoed from the doorway to the bedroom. As Liam’s attention was averted, I quickly broke off two small pieces of my bread and placed them on Kali and Finian’s plates. 

“I’m starving,” Jamis said through a wide yawn. He quickly strode toward the table, without any hesitation. Liam and I simply watched him come. He pulled out a chair and plopped himself into it without even a glance at us. His eyes landed on the small portion of food on his plate, and he let out a loud sigh.

“Don’t you dare act so ungrateful,” Liam warned sharply. I flinched and my whole body tensed. Liam had been acting coldly toward Jamis since yesterday afternoon, which wasn’t very unusual since they practically never saw eye to eye on almost anything, but I hadn’t heard Liam speak harshly or loudly at any of us since years ago when we were very young. 

I put my hand on Liam’s arm, only to find it as tense as a rock. My gaze flew to Jamis, but his gaze didn’t meet mine. It was locked on Liam. His face had turned dark, and his fist flexed on the table. 

“Why not?” Jamis retorted in a snappy tone that almost matched Liam’s. I pursed my lips so tightly that it hurt. I didn’t want to see them fight, but my body seemed to be paralyzed and my throat constricted. Jamis crossed his arms over his chest and continued before Liam could respond. “I think that I deserve to be a little ungrateful once in a while. While others who live so near to us in that city are eating till their stomachs bulge, feeding their scraps to their fat hunting dogs, and”

Liam’s scowl deepened, but he said nothing. There was nothing that he could say. Jamis’s words were completely true. He looked back at me, and his eyes reflected a plea to say something. I looked away quickly to the table. 

“Fine,” Liam sighed. “I will see you tonight, then.”

He spun on his heels and out the door before anything more could be said.  I looked down at his plate on the table and scooped it up into my arms. I flung the door open. 

“Liam, your breakfast,” I hollered after him. If he heard me, he didn’t acknowledge it. I briefly thought of going after him, but the idea was dismissed as soon as it arose. He wouldn’t listen to me. 

I sighed and went back into the house, shutting the door behind me. When I turned around, Jamis met my gaze and quickly looked away, leaning back in his chair. The need to say something to break the tense silence nagged at me, but I couldn’t find anything to say. 

After a few excruciatingly long minutes, the little patter of feet announced the entry of Finin and Kali. I watched in silence as they entered the room.

“Morning,” Finin yawned, shuffling sleepily to the table. Kali followed at his heels with a bright smile on her face. I tried my best to smile back at them, even though everything in me protested. 

Both of the twins hoisted themselves up onto their chairs. I quickly hurried to the table and arranged the plates, scooping Liam’s serving onto the two young children’s plates. Handing out the plates, I took my seat. 

I stared at my plate for a minute, before glancing up at Jamis. His plate still sat where I had left it a foot from him. He looked up to meet my gaze, narrowed his eyes, and pushed his plate further away from him across the table. 

Irritation steamed through my veins. I had had enough attitude from my brothers for one day. I crossed my arms and gave him my most pointed glare. He held my gaze unshaken for a few painstakingly long moments. I refused to be the first to break eye contact or to surrender. With my little siblings here, it would definitely not be good for them to witness his ungratefulness. They were too young to fully understand such things. 

Finally, Jamis huffed and pulled his plate toward him. I sighed quietly and glanced at Kali and Finin, who were both gulping down their food in pure ignorance of any of the tension. Turning my attention to the food in front of me, I managed to eat everything on my plate, even though the last thing that I wanted to do was eat with the knot in my stomach. 

“Where’s Liam?” Finin asked through his last bite. My stomach flipped over on itself, threatening to reject the breakfast.

“Don’t speak with your mouth full,” I chided him sternly. Normally, I wouldn’t correct him so harshly on such a little thing, but his question caught me off guard. I had no idea how to answer. Finin drooped his shoulders and looked down at his plate, finishing his bite. 

“Isn’t there anymore?” Kali asked, holding up her plate. I cringed inwardly and intentionally kept my gaze from Jamis, knowing the look that I would get from him. I tried my best to smile and gently took her plate from her. 

“No, that is all that you may have this morning,” I said. My voice came out much more calm and sure than I was expecting. “We wouldn’t want you or Finin to get a stitch in your side from too much food when you have to walk to school.”

“I guess so,” Kali said cheerfully with a little shrug as she bounced off her chair. She quickly rushed into the other room, likely to retrieve her books and cloak. Though it was only the beginning of the autumn months, the mornings and evenings could be brisk, especially for their small, skinny bodies. 

“Jamis, where is Liam?” Finin asked, handing me his plate. Jamis turned to look at me, and I couldn’t help but raise my brow at him with a small grin tugging at my lips. Now it was his turn to act smoothly, and he wasn’t getting any help from me. He shot me a glare in return that quickly dissolved into a soft smile to the little boy who stared expectantly up at him.

“He had to get to work early this morning. It’s a busy day with the city’s annual races coming up,” he said altogether smooth and nonchalant. I sensed the slight bit of irritation in his tone when he mentioned the races. He had always dreamed of entering those races, though as a stable hand at the largest stable in the city, it was impossible for him to do such. It was a fact of which I was secretly very glad. The races were a dangerous sport held by the King each year in which a series of horse races would be run between the many occupants and only a very few made it out without serious injury or death.

“Oh,” Finin said with a short nod. “I’m going to go get my books. Teacher told me that if we arrived early, she would show me her book collection and maybe even let me borrow one.”

“How nice,” Jamis replied. His tone soaked in sarcasm. I quickly glared at him and tried to amend the situation before Finin’s feelings were hurt. 

“That is a great honor,” I said with as much heart as I could. I reached over and ruffled his hair. “You’d better hurry along then. You don’t have much time.”

For the next few minutes, I kept myself busy with preparing meager lunches for each of the children and helping them get ready to leave. I tried to do my best to ignore Jamis, but I was aware that he didn’t move from his spot the entire time. 

When Kali and Finin were both ready, Finin practically dragged his sister by the hand out the door. I shut the door behind them and thought quickly about what I was supposed to do. Jamis still sat at the table with arms crossed but I decided to ignore him. Instead, I quickly rinsed the plates in the bowl of water on the counter and stacked them on their shelf.

Then, I grabbed the basket and set it on the table, arranging the cloth in it. I would be able to trade in those buttons that I had gotten two days ago. I would have done so sooner, but I didn’t want to risk having an encounter with that young man, Terence. 

“Can I come with you to town today?” Jamis finally breathed. He pushed out his chair and scooped up the basket from the table into his elbow.

“Don’t you have work today?” I said curtly, raising a brow.  

“Well, I…” He glanced down at the basket in his hands and hesitated for a moment. “I got the day off.” 

“Really?” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared straight into my brother’s eyes. I knew him well enough to know when he was lying. “You got fired didn’t you?”

“Alright, fine,” Jamis snapped, crossing his arms across his chest to match my own stance. “But it was no big deal. And don’t lecture me. I’ve already had enough of that from Liam.”

I sighed and looked away. That sure explained why my two brother’s had been so edgy and cold lately. Though a multitude of verbal assaults threatened to spew out, I knew that he was right. He had received enough lecturing from our older brother. I let out a slow breath and placed my hands on my hips.

“Alright, you can come,” I said. A grin began to creep onto his face, but I quickly shot a finger up for him to wait. He furrowed his brow. “Only on one condition.”

“What?” he asked with a shrug. 

“That you drop the attitude.”

He grinned and gave a light shrug. “I think I might be able to manage that.”