![]() Letter From Me To My PastA Story by AnnaMariaQQss![]() Watch me blow the dust away from...Past & Hurt.....At last Away with both of you, go Blow in the wind, with Ago![]()
Dear Past & Hurt, I was given a bold gift thru my genetics, I no longer see it as a curse or weakness, because I am different from the mainstream others. And so, now I am letting you go...Blowing you off with one last " Good - Bye. "
If
I cry over you, It has to be a REASON I decided was worth crying
over.You are NO LONGER permitted to DEGRADE ME, DISRESPECT ME, OR TALK
DOWN TO ME. Respect me now because that urge to walk away is here, and
the WALK KEEPS GETTING SHORTER!
You have nearly ruined a once blind love,all the malice and anger, the
spent tears over you has left my hearts feelings : tarnished , rusted
and neglected !
I can still hear your voice, And SEE that look in your eyes. I
remember your hands, Past , all balled and tightly fitted. Isn't that
lame? I can't even recall what it's like to be hugged by you. I surely
can't remember ever being soothed after a whipping Mr. Hurt ! But you
know what I remember MOST OF ALL? Those ice cold angry words that I
shouldn't have let you Hurt me with all the more ! I will always hear them, in the nasty Past, as if it were really only yesterday.
The bruises healed up, there gone away. A few scares remain, not that
you know that. They are wound tightly around an innocent child's heart.
Permanently rooted in my 35 year old heart...From so long ago. after
I've conquered so much from you. Mr Past, Hurt age's my time no more. I hope you take this with you Hurt, Now and forever like I did those mean nasty words. Try to remember how you never heard me scream back!
And PLEASE.....STOP ASSUMING I'M ASHAMED OF ME,MYSELF! You were the
very one who taught me, NEVER SAY ANYTHING YOU CAN'T TAKE BACK! sorry
doesn't fix it, not that you tried. At least I don't recall ever seeing
you cry. I'm not GUILTY, I NEVER WAS.
Never once did I turn your malice around on you. I stood before you-too
little and afraid. When I got older I did it the very same way. Well
maybe by then there was 1 slight difference...I KNEW I NEVER WANTED TO
YOU HURT YOU THAT WAY. So instead I hung my head and took it all in. Up
until 6 months ago, I even blamed me dad. Strange don't you think....I'd
never think it was okay, you talk to my kids and hurt them that way.
But it was okay for you-I LOVED YOU THAT MUCH.
It's important to me that you know where I learned it from, hanging my
head down, looking guilty as hell! It's a little funny that it makes you
that angry...That NEVER not once did I back hand you,or speak out of
anger and leave my mark on you. Sure I made mistakes, and I ran hard as
hell to get away from them! I always figured it was better than leaving
scar marks like you! And you know what, I still love you so, but shall miss you nor want you in my life. I can't let you hurt me any more. I never want to see those "Mad As Hell Fire Red Eyes" turn on me-because STILL I am not good enough.
There WILL NEVER be another emotionally charged thing come from your
mouth that REACH MY EARS. And guess what else Past and Hurt, This is to
both of you attempting to fit into on my sweet time..... I learned how to love me and nourish A heart you nearly broke. See ya sometime-when you no longer have desires to cuss me and degrade me. Next time around, maybe I can teach you how to be MORE LIKE ME!
© 2011 AnnaMariaQQssAuthor's Note
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StatsAuthor![]() AnnaMariaQQssMaysville , KYAboutI wanna leave my foot prints everywhere I can and on whom ever's white carpet I can so I know I'm still kicken up dust LOL. Cooping is pretty damn hard, but harder yet is crying for my kids and a.. more..Writing
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