[These]

This paper, old and tattered,
Is written upon from a heart once shattered,
A girl that once mattered
...

This pen, black and fading,
Writes of thoughts debating,
Who they think she's hating
...

These words, slurring into one,
One mess having too much fun,
She's waiting for it all to be done
...

These thoughts, confusing her,
She doesn't know, she's not sure,
Just promise to wake her when you can hear laughter
...

This paper,
This pen,
These words,
These thoughts
...

Creating a story, longed to be told.
But you mustn't keep waiting,
Her patience is growing cold.

Author's Note

Thoughts . . Yes,
Thoughts . . .

Reviews

[Natasha Ashway]

Interesting thoughts :-). Nice read x

[OceanTropic]

I loved it!! I especially loved the ending, how she wants to tell the whole story, but it's hard for her to just put it out there. It applies to more people than you think :)

[Jay W Valentine]

"These words, slurring into one,
One mess having too much fun"

I always have to point out my favorite part and this summed up the piece for me. The thoughts becoming jumbled, it's getting out of and and you recognize it... but what can you do? Salvage what you have or start over. So much to do, so much not to do. You did this well.

[Gavin Keary]

The flow of the piece is very good. It doesn't take a point and skirt it everytime, but it tells it like it is.

Very good!

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

I love this piece...
It is so beautiful & tell the feelings instead of beating arounf the bush about what needs to be said.
Very well wrote!!

[Your Tasty Field Adviso..]

wow, i drule over the words you have written here. i love it. thoughts can be so powerful tools when used properly, and in this instance, thoughts were used in the best way known to man. :D

[Dark Daughters]

Beautiful and heart wrenching, I liked it.

Good thoughts... liked it! It was very thoughtfull! Loved it keep up the good work!

[Lalli]

After our conversation, this poem is touching. thoughts, these thoughts you wish someone would care enough to ask are there. An ear to listen and shoulder to comfort, the underlying message if i'm not correct?..

Brilliantly written with the use of "this paper, pen, words, and thoughts" tying them all together in the end to have created a story of a woman who wants to share... so share mi lady, preach on.. let the world learn from your misfortune and your joy!

much love n' respect

-Lalli