Sandy Toes

When all there is to it, is love.

11-6-11

If someone would’ve told me how this would all end up, I wouldn’t have believed them. What else was I suppose to do? When the girl you love finally accepts you, there’s nothing to think about. You just act. Instincts guide you and everything you’ve fought against up until that point becomes meaningless. I could’ve thought about my future and what this all meant for it; I could’ve listened to that voice in my head telling me to think it over first. That would’ve changed things. But the same thing always happens when I listen to that voice in my head: Nothing. I freeze. Thoughts race through my head in a desperate attempt to make sense of the situation, and time runs out. The moment passes. How was I supposed to know my true intentions? Subconsciously, a part of me knew why I did what I did. But all I knew on the surface was that I loved her. I had loved her for so many years before this weekend. There’s nothing sinister in my love. People won’t acknowledge that fact though. Neither will my family. I can see it in their eyes; they’ll never forgive me for what I’ve done. When I want to get angry at them I can’t. They have every right to be ashamed of me. I can understand where they’re coming from, but at the same time be angry with them. Just like how I know I should stay away from her, yet burn so passionately with desire for her. This weekend should never have happened, but I’m so glad it did. What would you have done?

The Beginning.

My father had told me I could invite someone to go with me. I called around, but all my friends were busy that weekend. I told him I had no one to go with me, and he said he didn’t care. As he walked away from me he reminded me that I could invite someone if I wished. My plus one. So I began to think of people to invite.

Since all of my friends had things planed, I searched through my mental contact list of girls I knew. What girl would turn down an offer to get out on the lake for a weekend? Those exposed bodies just yearning for the suns hot touch. Browning flesh and the smell of tanning oil on shining breasts. What guy could turn that down? But I wasn’t looking for that, not with this girl anyway. This girl was different from all the rest. I had been in love with this girl since I first met her, and no one but I knew it. When I had initially invited her nothing in my mind told me she would accept. Call it fate, call it god, call it whatever you want. Something made her say yes to me that day. My shock was masked by my happiness. I was completely ignorant of my own intentions at the time.

The next day I was informed we were to rent motel rooms for the trip. Many people had been invited by my family, and room was scarce. Being that I had a job and all, I made it clear that I and my ‘plus one’ would stay in a room paid for by me. My father was more than accepting of this idea. Until she arrived that is.

She stepped out of her parents car holding a big bag full of clothes. The bag was much too large for her slender body. I rushed to her side and relieved her of the heavy burden. I hadn’t seen her in quite a while, and she had gotten much prettier. When I first met her, I had struggled to keep my heart from exploding. But when she arrived at my house that morning, I didn’t have a chance. Everything about her was too much to handle. Her dirty blonde hair, those sky blue eyes, the way she looked at me, her perfect smile with the ever so slightly misaligned front tooth, that poke-dot swim suit peeking out from underneath her jean shorts. A spark was re-ignited inside me as her face began to blush. She looked down and back again, and tried to contain that beautiful smile. Through my laughter I had asked her what she had been up to all year. She began to tell me in a shy voice. My father looked thoroughly concerned as I put her bag in the hatchback. We all crammed into the car and drove off. My family chatted away and got lost in the music. She and I sat facing each other behind the back seat, just as I had requested. I asked her how old she was now, and she chatted away. She got lost in her stories. I got lost in her eyes.

All was good when we arrived in that city. We stopped at a local restaurant and all sat down for lunch. I hadn’t even noticed my family was there. Lily’s presence across the table was drawing all of my attention. Since we were considered the youngest of everybody, we decided to create a gap between the adults and ourselves. I can’t remember which one of us was more shy about eating. With our flip flops resting beneath our feet, nothing prevented the nakedness of our feet from finding each other. I though nothing more of it than playing. My intentions were harmless.

The lake that day was perfectly deserted. Lily and I hopped off the boat and onto that secluded beach the moment we touched down. I remember back to that moment and realize I must have stared. Lily struggled with her shorts for a while, but eventually loosened the zipper and let them fall to her ankles. I took my shirt off and threw it on the boat, all the while looking over at her. We walked along the beach, periodically stopping to sit on our knees and draw in the sand. My fingers would trace outlines of hot rods and guns, while hers would trace more innocent things. Later on in that day, when the sun began to fall and boats headed in, Lily and I headed back for the boat. She pushed her toes into the sand once more and hoisted herself up. Before I could fully make it to my feet, she was off in a playful run towards the boat. As I chased behind her I could see the sand gleaming on the back of her thighs. She would playfully turn her head and laugh at me. For what she thought to be my lack of athletic ability, I knew to be something more. A chance to chase the girl I loved, knowing that I was bound to catch her.

The sun had set and the parents had left. Bars were bumping all over town on that Friday night. They filed out in their slender black dresses and cologne masked polo shirts. Be safe, my dad said to me. The word safe meaning so many things. Safe from burglars, safe from natural disasters, safe from the pressure building in my chest, safe from the laws, or maybe possibly just safe from myself. I doubt that my father knew enough about me to mean the latter.

That night, when everyone had left the building and all who were to be seen were the two teenagers sharing a room, something amazing happened. We ordered pizza and watched poor motel television. We laughed at the quality of the Spanish acting and saw who could stare the longest. I made her blush when, after losing a game of staring, I continued to stare at her. Her mind was so focused on the television that it took her a second to feel my gaze on her neck. She set down her slice of pizza and laughed at me. I was snapped from my trance and back into the room. When all the pizza had been eaten, and the giggling had subsided, we looked at each other seriously. I cleared my throat.

“I’ll sleep on the couch and you can get the room.” I said.

“You’re gonna sleep on the couch?” she asked.

“Well yeah, look,” I ripped the cushion out from under where I was sitting and revealed the mattress underneath.

“Oh, ok.” She said.

“What?” I asked. My curiosity was manifesting itself into a smile.

“Nothing. Just try not to miss me!” She said as she stuck her tongue at me.

“I’ll try.” I said, completely serious.

I turned the television off and unfolded my bed. Across the room I could hear rustling coming from the lit bedroom. I walked towards the bathroom. Inside the room I saw Lily throwing an extra large sleep shirt over her bra and underwear. When I came back out the light was off. Movement could be heard in the bed. I made my way to the pull out mattress. The springs dug into my body like muted needles, leaving poke-dot shaped blood stains on my body. All was silent in the dark motel room.

I dreamt of a misty forest. I walked from tree to tree in bare feet. A girl zig-zagged from left to right, blurring in my vision. I began to run. She was just out of reach in front of me. No matter how fast I ran, I could not catch up to her. When I finally stopped running from fatigue I looked all around myself. The forest was made of mirrors. I looked ahead and saw the girl standing still. Her back was facing me. I looked behind me and saw that same girl. It was Lily, staring at my back. I looked forward again. I bent down and picked up a rock. The rock flew from my hand and shattered the mirror in front me. When all the shards had fallen, all that was left was the sun shining through. The girl was gone. I turned around. As I did so, I heard her whisper my name into my ear. I jumped from fright.

“Hey…” she poked me.

I was startled from my sleep to see Lily sitting above me. She was sitting on her knees just as before. Shards of yellow light streamed in through the motel window.

“Ya?” My voice was raspy, my sight was fuzzy.

She sat above me looking around the room. She looked at me with a serious face, then at the window, then back at me. My sheets rustled beneath my legs. I hoisted myself up on my elbows, ever so slightly elevating myself.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

She looked at me once more with that serious expression. Her hands rested on her bare thighs as she bent her head down. Blonde hair fell around my face and my heart stopped. Her wet lips gently touched mine in a soft peck. She receded back and stared at me again. I lifted myself and sat in front of her. Our faces were clear in the darkness. Lip gloss shined in the yellow motel light. The sheets fell down around my waist, revealing my bare chest. We never stopped looking at each other. I looked deep into her eyes and thought about what to do. But before I could think, my body reacted. I caressed her face with one hand and pulled her in. Our eyes closed and our bodies melted into one another. Two hands on my chest, my hands on her face. I breathed her in. Our noses tickled each other. Her leg shifted its way over mine, and up against my crotch. My back rested against the arm of the couch in a half reclined ecstasy. Soft whimpers escaped her body and filled the missing puzzle pieces of my soul. We stayed this way for nearly thirty minutes. When it ended, it was much too soon for me. After, I thought she would leave me and go back to the room. Instead, she pulled the sheets over her body and lay down next to me. I moved my body close to hers and held her close. She fit perfectly into the crease of my body. Her butt pushed back into my lap, and her neck in perfect spoiling position. Our feet molested each other beneath the sheets. I fell asleep to the smell of her, and dreamt of nothing else.

If it hadn’t been for separate motel rooms, I would’ve panicked that morning at the thought of my parents. Instead I woke up to Lily’s soft blue eyes staring into mine. No panic, no worries. The morning was started with gentle kisses and burning hearts.

I had never felt so alive that day on the beach. My family was nothing but a blur to me. The sun warmed my skin, and shined on her goosebumps. We had ventured off onto a different beach that day. Beyond the sand there was a field of palm trees of all sizes. My parents and their friends laughed and talked about their night. They cracked open more alcohol and relaxed beyond the boat. Their day was already planned out: sober up, listen to music, and get drunk again. Lucky for me, that last part started earlier than usual. No one paid attention to the two teenagers running off into the forest of palm trees.

Lily ran ahead of me. She zig-zagged in and out of sight. My shoulders were much more broad than hers, making it difficult to maneuver. I lost sight of her through the shrubs, and soon came to an opening. It was a large patch of sand surrounded completely by palms. The sky was barely visible through the opening in the trees. I called out to her in a loud whisper. There was rustling in the shrubs behind me. I turned around and Lily jumped out and tackled me to the ground. We hit the ground, laughing in each others arms. She tried to tickle my ribs through my muscles, but I didn’t let her. With a loud ‘ho’ and a clever use of my hips, I rolled over, throwing her under me. I tickled her soft belly right above her bathing suit. She looked up at me and howled in laughter. Like two kids playing together, I put my face against her stomach and blew out, making a motor boat noise. She laughed and laughed, then abruptly stopped. I had ceased my motor boat. She giggled under her breath. My kisses made their way up her stomach and across her neck. She grabbed my head and pulled my face to hers. Innocence no longer prevented her from reacting. Her lips were hungry and wet for me. She moved her legs around me and hooked them around my back. I broke free from her hungry mouth and kissed her neck once more. She smelt of sea weed and candy. Nails dug deep into my back; she had become unchained. The shackles that had bound us by youth had fallen. A fire inside me grew too large to contain any longer. I stopped kissing and looked her in the eyes.

“I think I love you.” I said.

She couldn’t catch her breath. Her eyes began to water. I felt her body quiver underneath me. With a soft moan she replied, “I love you.”

Her hands moved away from my back. She reached down and pulled her bathing suit half way up her thighs. I looked down in shock and excitement. Fear no longer held us back, for love was in motion. We were playing out what we each had seen on those late night romance channels. She reached up and kissed me on the forehead. I struggled to get my shorts off, and gave up half way down my own thighs. Like a moth to a light, or magnets to one another, our bodies connected without any guidance. Just instinct. Her body was young and tight. Mine was strong and powerful. I thrust into her over and over until it no longer hurt her. After that, our bodies were connected in passion. I breathed her in with every second passed.

There was nothing to be asked, nor anything to be assumed. I was not taking advantage of her, nor she of me. Love blossomed out in that hidden sand patch that day. With toes digging into sand from pure release, everything about it was love. Our hidden love was consummated in that hidden place. I had loved her all along, and I suspect she had felt the same. Else, why would she have gone? No one knew what was to happen that weekend. My intentions were as virgin as we were. Far be it for me to tell fate how to do its job. When my family finally did find out, it was not by our own actions. Something about us gave it away. The papa bear and the mama bear could smell it on us, as if the air around us had changed. Just as I had expected, no one understood. What I had done was illegal. Fate had spaced us too far in time. Society never understood how our love could exist.

 How old was she, you ask? Does it really matter? We were in love. That’s all there is to it. Age didn’t matter. How old was I, you ask? Now that my friend, would definitely put things in perspective. But like I said: Age didn’t matter, we were in love. That burning feeling in my chest that threatened to explode every time I saw her. Sleepless nights from thinking about only her. A life consumed with actions played out because of her, and for her. I would’ve died for her, and I wanted to live for her. Can you understand the feeling? I doubt you can.  What would you have done?

Author's Note

This is part of my short story challenge; one short story per week, at least. Criticism is welcome!

Reviews

[Kenzie Anne Winchester]

Darling, I love it. Big jolly two thumbs up!