Wither

Sonnet II of a series I'm working on

I will dance all alone now;

You have become a stranger to me;

The show has ended, so take your bow;

I am dying on Earth so it be;

For a love that did refuse to grow old, the wind has been crying;

Please, allow not my wings to fail me;

My love has crossed the tainted bridge to darkness denying;

Allow me not to witness the white dove's plea;

No time to pack although my foot despises the door;

The frost of winter has entered;

Arm in arm with death, the wicked wolves have been howling more;

Snow is falling rapidly, paralyzing my core, my centre;

   All that remains is a mere shadow of days gone by;

   When my love found another, my Spring Lilly withered and died.

 

 

Author's Note

This one is a bit more traditional than the last one in that every other line rhymes along with the last two. I really appreciate your thoughts, my friends.

Reviews

[barricade]

WOW! beautiful...tragic...yet so beautiful...loved the imagery...the emotions so powerful...!!! the flow, the rhymes...exceptional!!! the either side of love...love gone away...portrayed with such an imagery!!!

great work...loved every bit of it....!!!
very well done...!!!

keep it up!!

regards
barricade...

[Bhavya Kaushik]

This is so beautifully sad and tragic dear!
The imagery is just.....brilliant!!!
"I will dance all alone now;
You have become a stranger to me;" - Just when I read these opening lines , I realized that this one will going to be a very sad and deep piece of writing....And I was right! This is indeed so heart touching!
The rhyme and flow is simply flawless and imparted such a great poetic feel to the text.
"When my love found another, my Spring Lilly withered and died." - This line really made me to read the entire piece again...so I did!
"my Spring Lilly withered and died." - Such a great metaphor it is....

Beautifully tragic!

[A LaDy NaMeD D]

creative and beautiful yet said at the same time. I liked it.

[Pax Analog]

The strikingly strange image accompanying this eloquent elegy for love lost gives the whole an eerie vibe, as if an alien angel fell to earth, and the "Wither" of love-desire is a mythic tragedy affecting untold denizens of hyperdimensions.

The strength of the poem is its bardic archetypal quality. Frost-bitten sorrow even seems to saturate Gaia, Earth-Goddess herself.

With the rise and fall of love-desire's attachments, the most haunting element is gravitas, that THIS MATTERS, that love-desire taken too lightly, with insufficient intensity, is somehow a crime against nature.

Strong testament to the travails of the Heart.

[Ladysue]

Very sad indeed, but so beautifully expressed. I felt it too! Great job!!!

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

amazing piece of writing... very sad and tradgic -

[Kena Dawn Augustine]

Oh wow, that was breathtaking. i also really liked the picture, that was hypnotizing. you are a great sonnet writer, an inspiration to me. thanks for sharing!!

[Dani California]

"No time to pack although my foot despises the door;" -- fantastic line!

Painful and tragic, yes... though beautifully written. A true poet you are my dear. I felt every word. I realize I am repeating, but it really amazes me that no matter the form, free or variation of structured, the very breath of your soul sounds heavily in everything you write. Wow.

It's inspiring to read excellence. :)

[Ralphy]

Wow, what an exceptional piece. I like the rhymes and flow, for I think your magic of words have given this an intense aura. I always enjoy your writes for each has a unique message that drives my heart and soul. The imagery is great...Wonderful write

[These Haunted Hallways]

Wow! Beautifully-tragic, i must say. I love the flow in this piece as well. And omg, i love the different rhymes with it, too! I dont think i could ever do that lol. This was really awesome ;)

Have a great weekend!

B.A.