The Coming of Lillith

The Coming of Lillith

A Poem by TamiViolet
"

something a little different

"

 



 

the silvery moon softens me
I dance in her waning shadows
a veil removed, unable to follow
Time reveals a phantom queen

I am the crow as I come and go
in the midnight hour I am free
smoldering fires beckon me
silhouettes, black mirrors I know

She offers mocha agate to heal
embracing renewal with energy
she caresses with fingertips, gently
whispering,
                        ‘don’t think, just feel…’


© 2009 TamiViolet


Author's Note

TamiViolet
I'm practicing with structure, folks. Tried to look up the form for this piece but couldn't locate it although the rhyme scheme is a-bb-a. Please be gentle as I'm new to this particular form,, and it can be quite tricky. Lillith is the goddess of darkness in addition to being a beautiful flower that thrives only in the dark. Thanks for reading, my friends.

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Featured Review

This is fantastic, Tami. Wow. I tend to be drawn in more by structure, in writing, in art, in life...

One of the things I find fascinating about your work is, even in a structured form, it flows effortlessly. I think I've said this before with some of your other structured pieces. It takes a special talent to flow like the sea when there are corners, and then to use a complex subject matter too? You're incredible. I mean that.... wow.

Posted 10 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I was struck by this piece - particularly by the title - and then by your photo that you attached - I am not really good at structure - so I cannot comment on that - but I liked the imagery that you portrayed in this piece - there are some great words and metaphors used here - so,,,,

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I loved the flow, the rhyme. The a-bb-a form might not have been fully correct (except the 2nd stanza). But, surprisingly, the non a-bb-a stanzas are very beautifully rhymed! (may be because of the ending words like 'queen' and 'feel' :) )

I also loved the used of metaphors and the adjectives used throughout your poem.


Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Seek to find the rhyme, in ABBA... {I chuckle} ;)

Mmm, there is much to the story of Lillith of the first worlds creation,
as her beauty was too perfect to reflect, not, but wonder to behold. In a nights season, beyond reason... where passions played. Eternal. The fragrance of her blossom, like a sirens song. Lay waste... the senses.

Cool rendition... "don't think, just feel," it's cadence. Darkly delicious!
Write On / Right On
Romon in Review

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Can't critique the form as I'm no poet. However I thought it was a great story. Poor Lilith received such a bad rep by a bunch of old men. The poem set the correct mood for such an ode...very nice work.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I think you should write more poems about persephone-type characters! Very underwordldy, awesome.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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beautifully structured..really captured the essense of Lilith..

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this...you capture the seduction of Lillith's embrace.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Hi Appolonia .. been too long.. this is wonderful reading.
I think the form is fine .. i am sorry i know little of forms..

But the words I do ... and this is wonderful , especially the last line..

"don't think, just feel"

Good advice.

Chloe

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this a lot, especially since you're playing with form. I -hate- writing in form but I think it's something every serious poet needs to try, the restrictions of rhyme and meter will eventually open a whole other world of writing. Very good imagery also.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I read this three times and the symbolism keeps growing. fantastic job.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 12, 2009
Last Updated on November 12, 2009

Author

TamiViolet
TamiViolet

Somewhere behind the evening sky..., PA



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A Poem by TamiViolet



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